Tag: India

  • Save the 80s People

    Save the 80s People

    Man! We’re seriously in trouble. We as in people born in the 80s (and 1-2 not-so-smart ones born in the very early 90s). The things which are happening nowadays are totally going out of the hands. Just look around! Everywhere you will see a total devastation, purposefully or naturally directed towards the people born in the 80s. Here are some examples:

    • Old people dying. Not that old people didn’t die earlier but the rate is alarming. This is seriously sad and happening too often lately. All the icons which we idolized all our 20-ish-year-old life are dying. The whole era is ending as if everyone is rushing for some sort of party up there. Is somebody attracting them to come there? Some set of new Menakas in heaven or what?
    • Weddings. Heh. Everyone is irritated because of this social issue and I’m no different. I mean I am an earning, 25+,  unmarried (read available for hush hush general friendship purposes), better looking than many South Indian Lead Actors and a fairly famous man. And being a person with such elusive credentials is criminal. Despite being not-so-famous, so are most of you. I totally know how you feel when every time an old friend pings you and asks ‘When are you getting married dude?’. Nonsense. You go home on holidays, hoping to eat homely food and before you put one helping into your mouth, all your family jumps on you asking you to get married. To top that, Facebook is not helping either. ‘Me and my hubby on honeymoon’ albums have ruined the lives already. I am not going to elaborate on this dire straits situation because I am not that evil.
    • Sachin Tendulkar retiring from ODIs. Now, this is a killer. Whole life is finished with this 1 sentence. What is there left to see on TV now? Who’s name will be chanting now? That straight drive, who is going to hit that Straight Drive down the wicket? Although, lately he used Adidas’s sticker on his bat, but whole life, we craved to get that red MRF sticker on our bats. Although I am a technically sound text-book type cricketer like Sir Rahul Sharad Dravid but even Dravid would have wanted to be Sachin-like. I have been crying to him to retire earlier for obvious reasons that I don’t want any mortal person to raise any finger against him for not performing but when he won’t be there, who will hit that non-stoppable 4 towards extra cover uppishly. Who is going to come out of the crease and hit that 6 down long-on which made Tony Grieg lose his vocal chords in 1998 at Sharjah? You must have read Sidvee’s post so I will leave experts to comment on his career. For me, it is like removing the heart out of my Cricketing body.
    • Government going berserk on young people. Those who were born before India got independence had a cause to fight for. They had the blood that boiled and they finally achieved what they wanted. Those who were born in the 50s knew that country is building so they cooled down a bit. Those who were born in the early 60s didn’t know what was going on, whether to be angry about the government’s stupid policies or to jump into the sea of corruption and make the ‘system’ what it is now. The 70s born finally noticed that the country is not going in the right direction so they did try to do country-building stuff by improving India’s standard on the world map. But till then 50s and 60s people had ruined it so much that they couldn’t change much. Complacency you can say. But then the people of 80s, who have seen Black and White TV and Internet, Cricket in White gears with red cherry to T20s and IPL, Atari Video Games and iPhones, Goldspot to Redbull, have had enough. They have seen the contrasts and the changing world. There are opportunities but they are shadowed by overgrowing corruption, reservation and sadly, molestation. The ‘System’ has been damaged beyond repairable. So people of the 80s stood up against the government to protest. 2006’s medical student’s protests, Anna Movement and on-going protests against Bloody Rapists are good examples. But what do they get? Lathis? These lathicharges and water cannons will only help the 80s people to think and cast their votes appropriately come 2014. We will finally be kaamyaab ek din. Phew.

    There are helplines for Children, why cannot be there any for people of 80s? The whole India wants answers from them, who can they approach at this moment?

    P.S.: Sorry I should have started the post by saying ‘Woman!’. We must respect Womenfolk as well and this mindset cannot change until we start it now!

  • Causes of Rapes in India

    Posting a chart I had made for Facebook Page ‘Bhak Sala‘. It got shared across Facebook and Twitter in huge numbers. I hope people got the satire behind this.

    Causes of Rape in India
    Causes of Rape in India

     

    One more poster for Gender Equality.

    Spot the difference
    Spot the difference

     

     

     

  • Pakistan Open

    Islamabad: As a spontaneous reaction to the 31st May’s Bharat-Bandh in the friendly neighborhood country India because of the Petrol Price hike, Pakistan has decided to call a Nation-wide Open on 1st June in their country. They have decided to keep open all the roads, cinema theaters, schools & colleges, restaurants, shops, hospitals, Courts and their Senate and National Assembly which usually are closed owing to the threats from local nuisance creating groups. Also, the government institutions are generally shut down because of the callous and laid back attitude of the people working in these places as they don’t know who is in charge, the government or the army, rightly so, they shouldn’t be blamed. All the mentioned places and institutions will resume their services at wee hours of the morning and continue to remain open till the late hours of 1st June 2012. The local police authorities (heh) have cascaded this information among all the facets of the society, both terrorists and non-so-harmful-civilian population of the state.

    A majority of the civilian population has welcomed this gesture by the government because they are happy that for the first time Government has decided to open and work. Prof. Qureshi, a well-known name in Pakistan’s Political Studies forum, and a regular in Times Now show with Arnab Goswami, from Lahore had this to say, “These Indians are always up to something notorious. Creating all possible measures to make Pakistan look like a minion. Which we are not. Yes. So this move by the government to open up against Bandh in India is a great way to show to the US that we want development here! They might give us some economic aid as a result. Nowadays, khafa khafa se sarkaar nazar aate hain. Hilary came to Asia but didn’t announce anything good for us. Tcha!”. Hina Rabbani Khar has decided to do a road show in Karachi to attract camera persons from media from all over the world and especially from India to let know that Pakistan can do whatever Indian can in a better manner and with a pinch of glamour too. But certain eminent personalities in the society are afraid that Indian Government might use up this working opportunity to create some mischievousness again. Mrs. Fatima Rehman, a women’s rights social activist said that “This useless Government always wants to compete with India. What is the need? They make missiles, we will make 2 missiles. They make Agni, we will make HATF, Arrey WTF, what was the need of this Open-Day? We are trying to be peaceful since some days now and now when everything will open, people will come out on the roads, some body mua from RAW will again disrupt the peaceful country of ours. We are happy this way!”.

    Ex-Pakistani Cricketer, now a British citizen was also wary of this Open day concept. He has rather suggested to counter India by creating a Cricket league of their (Pakistan he said to clarify) own and try to attract the sponsors. He said that whatever he is saying, it is because of the fact that he considers himself a brand ambassador of Pakistan in the UK. He said that he is getting lot of moolah by playing in IPL as an export from England but he feels that  Pakistan can compete with India by creating a League where no Indian Cricketer is allowed to play. Though he suggests that Pakistan should not be showing too much arrogance and should allow Ravi Shastri as a Commentator and Mohinder Amarnath as a bowling coach because IPL also allowed Rameez Raja and Wasim Bhai there. Imran Khan has appreciated the ex-Pakistani and now a British citizen (like most of the Pakistani cricketers).

    The terrorists clan of Pakistan has welcomed this decision and have issued a fatwa to not to kill anyone just like that, only if needed. They want to show that Pakistan can do a better job in Kashmir so they have planned to show off their strength by spilling petrol on the roads of POK, which they call Azad Kashmir, because petrol is just around Rs. 60 there in Pakistan.

    (Disclaimer: It’s only a rumour that Pakistan is trying to stage a Pakistan Khulla. Their actual motive is to make India buy fuels from them and topple the Indian economy face first)