Category Archives: opinions

Personal opinion about culture, movies, books.

Sorry and Thank you!

No sorry, no thank you in friendship

– Prem

The golden lines were said by Salman Khan in the movie ‘Maine Pyar Kiya’ to Bhagyashree whom he fancied as his girlfriend and then his wife (important because of Rajshri!). That ruined the basic courtesy people had got left in them till that point and since then it has only declined further.

Call me a mood-spoiler but I am not necessarily a big fan of special days for special things. Today for instance is ‘Michchhāmi Dukkaḍaṃ (मिच्छामि दुक्कडम्)’, a Jainism related day on which people ask for forgiveness for any kind of unintentional or intentional misdeeds they might or might not have committed. Same way, there’s Thanksgiving in the US. It is intended to be thankful and shows gratitude to others.

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

As we know, people are mightly clever as they may think that saying sorry for one day gives them the right to be a nuisance on other days. (As they say after partaking 1000 rats, the cat went on pilgrimage.) Anyways nowadays Sneezing is capital punishment but if I sneeze and then say sorry to the other person, who is currently busy in sanitizing herself or himself (and reporting me to authorities), will my sorry even matter?

Photo by Pro Church Media on Unsplash

Or saying Thank you for trivial things like keeping the door open for the person coming behind you (which is considered a big deal). That’s so basic that if not done, that should itself call for name-calling bluntly. The other day, kids were playing Badminton outside my apartment and the shuttlecock fell into my balcony. I gave it back to them instantly but then they went on with their business without Thank You. For an instant, I was almost about to thank then instead for not shouting “Uncle, can you please throw the cock back?”. Then there’s money involved too. The gravity of thanks for gifts received also depends on how heavy the gift is and how big the box is. But where will this confusing monstrosity end? Till we have special days for special things, this won’t change.

That’s all! Thank you for reading. Sorry for making you read.

So I recently watched: The Big Bang Theory

That’s my spot!

You might say, so what’s the big deal in that? But the only deal is that I had stopped watching it after its 5th or 6th season because of forced laughter track and not so funny jokes, and had moved over to grittier shows involving 4 even nerdier and crazier boys (i.e. South Park).

But I resumed it after a gap of over 5 years and finally finished watching all the remaining seasons of the 12 seasons show.

I returned to TBBT as it was still the good old sitcom and it revolved around somethings I find interesting as a fellow nerd;

  1. Science (mostly physics because other sciences are boring)
  2. Comics / Superheroes
  3. A little eccentricity or awkwardness which comes out either like arrogance or creepiness, relatable right!
  4. The intrinsic desire to Mansplain things
  5. Creating such lists

TBBT was the first English TV show I watched which opened a box of so much other consumable content I used to find off-putting. It had many factors which most Engineering graduates would find relatable.

Despite all the tropes, if you stick with the show, it turns out to be the good old TV comedy which you can go back to.

Are Bangalore Days Over?

In February this year, I sent out a mail to my team in office which was somewhat on these lines:

We are all allowed to work from home once in a while but it is getting out of hands. I suggest that we get disciplined and work from home, at max, for 2 days in a Month and not more than once a week. That too, only if it is really necessary.

me, trying to act bossy

Heh, where are the days gone when you could actually feel embarrassed in public?

Most of the people whom I call as Friends or Colleagues or Relatives who used to live (in rented houses) in Bangalore have now left the city and have returned to their home towns. They all plan to stay there and work remotely till the pandemic gets over and their employers allow work from home. Some say that this would be allowed at least till December 2020. Some say it would go on till July 2021. Some even say that Bangalore Days are over as now the Internet is good enough all over the country that it is not really important to stay and work in the same city. The traffic and the hustle bustle in the city is not the same anymore. Office spaces on everyday are as vacant as the office spaces on Weekends. Most Restaurants have shut down. Food Delivery guys, who used to drive as fast as the F1 Cars, now just stroll their way to deliver food to a lone introvert stranger who is oblivious to the pandemic or may be understands that food is not the primary source of infection. The number of cases are breaking records every day and the overall morale of the place is duller than mood on pre-covid Monday mornings.

James Altucher, a famous blogger and entrepreneur, wrote something similar about New York City. He gave detailed stats of rent coming down, people actually moving permanently to other cities, and remote working is going to be the norm.

There won’t be business opportunities for years. Businesses move on. People move on. It will be cheaper for businesses to function more remotely and bandwidth is only getting faster. 

Wait for events and conferences and even meetings and maybe even office spaces to start happening in virtual realities once everyone is spread out from midtown Manhattan to all over the country. 

NYC IS DEAD FOREVER. HERE’S WHY

His views have some weight and it is not all wrong. However, he got a strong rebuttal from someone who is a New Yorker and takes pride in it. In fact, he is someone who usually won’t really speak out on each and every public related issue. But, this NYC Dead thingy hit him hard.

World Famous Comedian Jerry Seinfeld wrote,

Energy, attitude and personality cannot be “remoted” through even the best fiber optic lines. That’s the whole reason many of us moved to New York in the first place.

You ever wonder why Silicon Valley even exists? I have always wondered, why do these people all live and work in that location? They have all this insane technology; why don’t they all just spread out wherever they want to be and connect with their devices? Because it doesn’t work, that’s why.

Real, live, inspiring human energy exists when we coagulate together in crazy places like New York City. Feeling sorry for yourself because you can’t go to the theater for a while is not the essential element of character that made New York the brilliant diamond of activity it will one day be again.

Jerry Seinfeld: So You Think New York Is ‘Dead’
(It’s not.)

I had myself left the city on 14th July and went to my home town. I thought may be I would also stay there for a long time. Return to the city where my friends and colleagues aren’t there is not really fruitful, in fact, dangerous if you know what I mean.

But I returned back on August 16th, 2020 for several reasons, including my wife working in Bangalore at a place where work from home isn’t really allowed. Here is my opinion on whether the Silicon Valley of India is now a thing of the past:

No, Bangalore days are not over. Working from Home is not same as Working in Office. In fact, working from home, even from your hometown is not the same as working from your home in Bangalore. The feel is not there. Like Jerry Seinfeld said, some places stand out because of the Energy. I am not in a die-hard fan of Bangalore the city as such because it can certainly do better in a lot of aspects but I absolutely love working here. I really miss working in office, meeting people, discussing ideas, talking about weather and traffic even when there is always a love-hate relationship, having tea road-side, and in generally sitting at my desk in office. I have no qualms in saying that whoever, I know, has moved out of Bangalore has always complained about how the Bangalore work culture is perhaps the best there is and other cities are not the same. Since I have not really worked elsewhere in last decade (except small stints in Hyderabad and Jaipur), I don’t know that. But there is certainly something which makes a place worth living. Of course, without people, the soul is not there. Even if some politicians and their stooges do drama by Hindi-Hate-Mongering every few months, but there are still many sane people around care about better things and solve problems and not create them. There might be 1000 wrong things here but which place doesn’t? I have spent 10 years here and it has shaped my personality, I think, in a positive way. It has made me more accepting, more open and more optimistic. I want to stay an optimist, even if I am missing out on spending a long time with my family unlike many other folks. I’ve just stated about Bangalore but every city in the world is special for its own reason and you might have some reasons about it yourself.

I feel that once this is over, and this will be over soon, it would take just a week or so for normalcy to return. And not just Bangalore, every city around the world will rise up again. There might still be some people who will have FOGO (Fear of Going Out, h/t: Mark Manson) and might not return to office. May be, masks wearing will stay for another year. But I am sure, most people who really want to work and are ambitious, will return to the cities, and the offices will be swarming with people again. Humans are stubborn. These viruses and all might scare us for sometime. But, we will return to work and crib about how bad the traffic is and why can’t the government do something about it. We will return to work and go to the cafeteria and eat the tasteless food. Your favorite restaurants will be back serving your favorite overpriced meal. We will still use Zoom and all, but we will also meet people in person. The dullness in the air will transform back to the energetic vibe which makes us believe that tomorrow is going to be better.

So I recently read: Atomic Habits by James Clear

I want to talk about some people I am jealous of. And that’s because I know they are faking it but still doing it successfully. I am talking about self-proclaimed Life Coaches, Mentors, Public Speakers, and likes.

Many of us, at some point in life, read self-help books. The intention is clear, we think that by reading and following the advice in the book, we might make our life better. It is a huge genre in itself and they often turns out to be the best-selling books months after months. But seriously, how many lives of people you know including your own have actually got changed by reading books? Passively Reading is not really acting but just entertainment, isn’t it?

So, why am I jealous of blokes who call themselves Life Coaches? One because it is evident that they are really good at public speaking which I am envious of. Now, I can speak to a good crowd size without breaking a sweat too but I am yet to attain the tag of someone who is considered to be a “Public Speaker – Public Speaker”. Still some way to go! Second, I understand that people are really creatures of habits and your life cannot really change just by attending a free seminar or reading an amazing self-help book. The onus of improving one’s life lies with oneself. Deep down, you know what is wrong in your life and you know how to solve it but inertia, sigh! Of course, if you don’t really know, sure, take some advice and try to mould it to fit your own life. The people who have become these Life Coaches and all, understand our problems as well. They are just people who dress well, speak good words, tell you to follow these 5 pieces of advice and you will become great. Not really. There is no 5 pointer plan to be successful. They act like they know it all and maybe milk your money in the process. I don’t think that is unethical but actually not really worth it. If you find someone who is really worth being a role model, you will automatically try to follow their lifestyle and try to be like them. If that lifestyle is too difficult to follow, then you will just give up and end up just as a fan.

However, my opinion changed a bit after reading Atomic Habits. I have read 2 books about habits. This one and another is The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. While The Power of Habit goes a bit scientific, still being really good, about how habits are formed and how habits form individuals by going deep into the science, Atomic Habit uses all that and tells us about how to actually create habits and put it to use.

One of the most important lessons from the book is this, which trumps everything a life coach will say and also life coaches will use the same thing to make you believe them:

The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity. It’s one thing to say I’m the type of person who wants this. It’s something very different to say I’m the type of person who is this. The more pride you have in a particular aspect of your identity, the more motivated you will be to maintain the habits associated with it.

The goal is not to read a book, the goal is to become a reader. The goal is not to run a marathon, the goal is to become a runner. The goal is not to learn an instrument, the goal is to become a musician.

Simple two-step process: Decide the type of person you want to be. Prove it to yourself with small wins.

James Clear

The above is used very effectively by the life coaches who are new. They know they are new to the game but they have believed that that’s what they are (self-proclaimed-experts) so they will do everything possible to act as a Life Coach which is actually clever. (It is also easier than being a musician because you will actually have to learn music or being a runner because you actually have to start running.) But being a life coach, you will just have to speak convincingly.

Not making this post about them, the lesson I learnt is this: If you want to change a habit or develop one, act like the person who has good habits. If you transform your identity to become like your role model, the job’s done.

I found Atomic Habits, one of the most well thought of self-help books I have read yet. It gives charts, shout outs, call outs, and makes the habit-formation simpler. I recommend this to anyone who already understands their problems and willing to fix them. It is still up to you how much you want to change your life.

The book summarizes itself pretty well with this:

Whenever you’re looking to improve, you can rotate through the Four Laws of Behavior Change until you find the next bottleneck. Make it obvious. Make it attractive. Make it easy. Make it satisfying. Round and round.

You may buy this book from here: https://amzn.to/2UEPL7y

If you want to get James Clear super insightful newsletter, click here.

Featured Photo by Ross Findon on Unsplash

Imposter Syndrome

More often than not, one feels that there is so much to learn, there is no time. Or, there is so much information to grasp, but one doesn’t have the capacity. Or, there is so much to eat, but the stomach can only stretch this much.

Alright, the last time might be the most real of all the 3 but many times I too feel the weight of being an imposter. Imposter Syndrome just means that you feel that whatever you have achieved was just due to sheer luck. You don’t really possess the knowledge or skills but you were just right there at the right moment.

We might actually be unaware of certain things, and that is totally fine, but it is very easy to trick your brain and lie to it. Like not exercising and thinking that one can always remain healthy.

I, for instance, have knowledge about a lot of useless facts like Pluto and Charon have wobbly orbits with respect to each other. But the fact that certain accolades or praise I receive, I end up feeling I really didn’t deserve them and what if there is a tougher test coming up and I will fail miserably.

This image, however, gives a bit of comfort indeed.

Optimistically Pessimist

That’s the right approach to live life in these times IMHO.

Lockdown is going to get over guys! Congratulations. It was tough, right? We had to stay indoors. We could only go outside to buy veggies and milk. We had to talk to people from School/relatives with whom we had stopped the conversations, and rightly so, a decade ago. We all came online on Zoom and took screenshots. People became cooks and fought over Youtube and Tiktok. It was something!

Didn’t we all hear all the claims about how the life is going to be in this ongoing + not really ending anytime soon + post COVID-19 world? We were told that it will never be the same again. There will be only work from homes. Schools will be just on the laptop. Masks would be the things and it will become haute couture level fashionable to have extreme and funky masks. Social Distancing would be a norm for a long long time and you will never have to tolerate those folks who hug all the time! Of course cinema halls would be a thing of the past and most restaurants would be only take-away ones.

But… I don’t get it!

Was this all a scam? Like seriously was this all a conspiracy? Like last 2 months were just some chapters out of a fictional story and now we are back to business? Even news channels are now back to usual terrorism in Kashmir news and usual debates about how my orange is more saffron than yours or how bollywood-walas are shouting Black Lives Matter but not shouting say why is the road outside my apartment dug up when monsoon is just starting and when are they going to fix it again?

From June 8th, Malls are reopening, temples will be buzzing, roads are already full of traffic and pollution. Fun! Also, you can start ordering all the foods you were avoiding as well. You haven’t become thinner by not eating the regular weekend pizzas anyway. May be golgappas around the street corner again? Bring it on.

What was all that drama for? Banging plates to lighting diyas? No, of course, I know that the economy has to restart but where are the masks? Why have we let our guards down? Or we just stayed home to avoid police sticks? Why the neck is the best place to put masks but not the nose and mouth? Why do we need Institutional Quarantine when cases are now skyrocketing with or without it? Why we have so many people back on the road when the cases in India are past China’s number already?

You must have seen the pics of Mumbai’s marine drive full of morning walkers with masks half-heartedly on. Or the pics of the airplanes rush when it has landed. Or beaches in US where there are more people than there usually were. Don’t you think the new normal isn’t the same old normal at all?

Bottom line is that we people are resilient and smarter than you think they are. You might or might not have seen the show ‘Space Force’ on Netflix because it is somewhat a mishmash of comedy and science fiction and tragedy and as someone rightly said a cross between ‘Veep’ and ‘The Office’, but there’s a quote in that which is somewhat on the lines of:

When people have forgotten the atrocities of World War, they forget what is like to be in a War. When people have had no polio cases for a long time, they forget the importance of Vaccines. When people become too arrogant, they forget things!

Not exactly verbatim but something similar by Gen. Naird

I am optimistic that the world will become normal again. I am pessimistic about the time. I thought it would take time to heal, but I miscalculated. I thought it would be months before we are back on the street in the usual way. But here we are already late for the office.

Covidiot + Indiot = Covindiot

Many of you must have received this. A wordplay on Covid and Idiot.

Let me just add another word to your vocab:

Indiot noun

ind·i·ot

  1. A stupid person of Indian origin who does things only idiot Indians would do.
    ‘Don’t burst crackers in your hand, you indiot!‘
  2. A stupid Indian person who doesn’t follow rules, meant for their own safety.
    ‘Helmets are not meant for elbows! Don’t be an indiot you fool…’

Here’s one more word for you:

Covindiot noun

co·vind·i·ot

  1. A super idiotic Indian person who has no regard for his or her own safety in times of Covid-19
    ‘What kind of covindiot are you? Don’t you understand social distancing? What were you doing playing kabbaddi with strangers on the main road on the day of Janta Curfew?’

I am not going to share any scientific gyaan but just few tweets in order to make my point.

Mumbai actually

The full thread above basically.

While I was super pumped to stand in the balcony, clap for our doctors, health workers and essential services personnel. I felt a sense of togetherness genuinely after 2011 World Cup Victory. But all my sense of gratitude turned into anger against the Covindiots.

The problem with Indians is that only 1% of us are such fools. But 1% of 1.3 Billion is 13000000 or more.

We cannot even facepalm now because there’s a chance of infection.