Category: opinions

Personal opinion about culture, movies, books.

  • टीवी कम देखिए

    टीवी कम देखिए

    I was told to watch less TV so I decided to get a BV instead of a TV [wink]. Actually, the TV was owned by my roommate and he had to move to a different city altogether so I am now TV less since last 3 weeks. Moreover, I haven’t watched TV actively since the starting of 2016 itself as I was involved in some life altering activities one indulges in when one comes of age or there is nothing else left to be done. Sigh.

    But believe me, life has been a lot better without TV. Life without TV is like being in a super heavy traffic jam but without the noise. It is like standing beneath a hand dryer and the dryer is pumping out cool breeze softly and someone is shooting this scene for a energy drink commercial. It is like an ice cream cone in which the chocolate part at the bottom of the cone never ends. It’s like speed of download increasing instead of decreasing even if you keep on staring at it/jinxing it by staring. But then you can run away from TV but you can’t escape news coming at you if you happen to be on the Internet.

    TV
    The Intelligent Box

    There has been a lot going on around our country and as usual TV and Social Media has got stuck on a couple of things worth outraging only. So let me put my point across as someone who was spared of these events due to lack of TV and had no reaction to it whatsoever but now everyone is peddling their views so why shouldn’t I?

    Well before I start my rant, let me digress for a second: It always brings the best out of people when they vent out of their feelings on Social Media on issues which they feel something about. By best I mean worst. Since last few years, you can easily classify people (and also fail at it miserably) based on their inclinations politically and socially. You can succeed if a person is relentlessly posting about some cause they care about and you know that they truly believe in it (or are they just jobless venting out stuff because free time). And you will fail if you just assume a person’s political inclination based on a vague number of posts just because it helps you to be more biased towards the cause you care about and your favorite pastime is to judge people and assume yourself as morally upright. On TV you still try to present yourself decent as much as possible, but online you are the Hulk and your keyboard is Loki.

    Anyways, a lot of things happened on (for) TV lately, the one involving a case of sedition on few gentlemen and ladies from JNU, Delhi. Some things were said. Some things weren’t. But the videos went viral. Viral to the extent that police had to intervene and arrest one of the student leaders. Then some people thought that they could teach that student a lesson and act as the sole saviors of the country. And then you know what and all happened.

    Now my point of view on it.

    For most of us, we who have average IQs, we tend to be an emotional bunch. TV for us is like a family member. We might live alone, but we still want to have a TV in front of us. Even if we want it in our room just for the sake of aesthetics of the house. We might keep our heads soaked into the 5″ screen of our mobile phones but we must have the sound of TV going into our ears. Even if one doesn’t own a personal TV of their own but in some way or the other, one would get attracted to it. We must have our dinner with Prime Time TV as one of the dishes otherwise the meal seems a bit incomplete. TV makes a house, a home.

    When it comes to News on TV, that also happens to be a major prime time event. Most of the things happen either in the evening so that Prime Time is ready to pounce on it, or on a weekend so that everyone can watch scenes of disasters from their drawing rooms with the comfort of their sofas. Unless you are too saintly and watch saas-bahu still in 2016, people watch News on TV and base their primary opinions from it. This is also important that TV is one of the major opinion making body because one, newspapers are dying and second, people don’t have time to spoil their eyes on a paper which has static text and images when they can spoil their eyes on, you know what. And Internet is an extension of the TV. A tool from which we can re-affirm our social and political beliefs. Although we could totally get opposite views from the Internet too but who goes beyond page 1 of Google.

    So what the news about latest events in JNU told me, is that TV is trying desperately hard to gather your attention. By keeping it colorful and then taking colors off it. And then painting it red, saffron and what not! It is trying very hard to make nobodies heroes and make heroes (who were also nobody sometime ago) as nobodies. It is, holding your collars, pulling you to watch it, get outraged, enrage your senses and take the blood pressure of yours to newer heights. It is up to us now to decide on how and what do we want to comprehend from it, although we can’t do a thing about it beyond a certain point. Because we need someone to spoonfeed us. We want some leaders who die for our cause. We keep seeking someone, some messiah, some demagogue to tell us that our lives are going very bad. We need someone to remind us that emergency is just lurking around the corner. And TV gives us all that fodder. But if you just come out of the room where TV is sitting, you see mostly everything is just fine. People say that politicians are fools. No sir, you are a fool. Politicians know how to use TV (or say the most prevalent media of the time) to make a fool out of you. They saw few words and you start clapping. They tell you that your life sucks, and you nod your head in sombre agreement. TV is not an idiot box, we are idiots sitting inside a box believing everything on it.

    I am not asking you to be indifferent. I am just asking you to learn to move on. Just go outside and switch off your TV for sometime. Or watch Saas bahu serials.

    P.S.: And one more thing. We live in a huge country where each and every day, something happens which tries to break the social accord. Do we need to fuel the fire which wants to break our society or do we want to work together to make it better? If someone says even a single bad thing about our family, at least half of the recipients will give it back verbally, some will resort to violence. Some will move on and actually all of them should move on but what’s ideal in this world. It is not that our country is so fragile that it would break into pieces just because of some slogans. But it is prone to suffer some bruises in other parts too surely if one side gets amputated, either from within or due to some external factors. Do we have to encourage those who want to cut off our arms from the outside or do we, join hands, and make internal organs work better and be more immune?

  • RSS Feed

    Suppose you want to go and buy Shorts for yourself and you are particularly interested in buying Khakhi colored ones. You have to be pretty careful so that you don’t end up buying something which remotely resembles RSS’s style ‘nekar‘. Unless you actually want to.

    For the uninitiated, RSS or Rashtriya Swyamsevak Sangh is a Non-Governmental-Organization in India which generally deals with terms like Nationalism, Hinduism and few other -isms. How much do you know about it, also defines your political leanings, according to some. Without going into too much nitty-gritty of its history, I would directly state my state of confusions with them as an organization and me as an Indian individual.

    From what I know, RSS believes that India was, once upon a time, united from Afghanistan to Myanmar, popularly called ‘Akhand Bharat’. That time was when India was truly ‘Sone ki chidiya’ and it was the hub for education, science, culture and literature. When we were prosperous and gay, the other world, specifically Europe, was not as flourishing as it is today. There were still reeling under the ‘dark ages’ and far from being civilized under a common rule/government and mostly lived in tribes. RSS, also believes that since India has been invaded by foreign forces, namely Islamic armies of Central Asia and then Europeans sailors and eventually Britain, we have got corrupted, our cultures have been damaged, our literature has been burnt, our temples have been ransacked and many people who used to be ‘Hindus’ have been converted into Abrahamic religions by force or fear or bribery. Moreover, some people from within RSS and ideologically affiliated to them like Purshottam Nagesh Oak, have claimed that many palaces/mosques/forts currently in India, which appear to be made during Islamic rule, were mostly Hindu places and temples which were taken over and renovated as to look like they were the art works of rulers. The rulers who were mostly illiterate and more interested in vices instead of making Mahals for a pity thing called Love.

    Apart from the above, they have felt strongly, that after the Independence, the governments, particularly Congress, have appeased the minority religions for personal gain, propagated false stories about India’s past and in turn, have made the people forget about their origins, their culture, their religion and their duty towards the nation. Thus, they have taken it upon themselves, the responsibility, to take India forward through a social movement, which might last centuries, towards the same glory days, Indians used to see before they were conquered. They call themselves, proudly I must add, ‘Hindu nationalists’. And they’re pretty serious about it.

    Now let me be serious too. Here’s a little revelation: I come from a family of hardcore RSS supporting people. Both paternal and maternal family has had connections with them. My immediate to immediate ancestors were regulars to ‘Shakhas’ and they also truly believe in whatever RSS believes in. So, whatever I am today, that is borderline whatever-istically-nihilistic-ally-atheist-ically-still-a-Hindu some of my opinions have surely been influenced by my family. I have seen (didn’t read them all though) books which talk about the cultural corruption we Indians have gone through because of foreign invasions of about 1000 years. I have seen pictures in those books which interpreted from various Dan-Brown-Styled symbology studies that most of the so-called Hindu-Islamic architecture was a clever copy paste job of Islamic symbols over the already existent palaces/temples to make them look like they were freshly erected during their era. PN Oak was the forerunner of this cause where he propagated and preached about his findings that govt. is just appeasing the minority to garner votes and keeping the public little confused and mostly fooled. Keeping the general public under a bit of inferiority will help the government to rule without much opposition for a longer duration of time. And he believed in certain other things too, along with the other people from that organization, that India was the epitome of everything before the conquests happened. Our science was supreme. We knew plastic surgery (you might have read about Sushrutha). We excelled in Ayurveda and Yoga. Our languages like Sanskrit had a heavy influence on the Europe and Western World. And this influence is so much that I will just throw some words and their English names: Caspian Sea – Kashyap Sagar, Mexico – Makshik (Copper and Iron Pyrite mineral which is Silver-Gold in color. Also, Mexico has several Silver Mines), Vatican – Vatika (Swamy39 will confirm), Anatomy – Anaatmi, and you already know it Taj Mahal – Tejomahalaya, etc. There is also a theory that there is a Shivling under Mecca. (Hehe) Well, I know about Proto Indo Aryan Languages and their evolution/spread/impact but I am still stating what RSS believes in without any bias. Apart from that, I myself have seen mutilated idols at many places, like Qutub Minar and Hampi’s temples to name a few. Now, if you have read all of the above (kya baat!), you would assume that I am one of those Virat Internet Hindoos who wear Saffron colored bands across the foreheads and flash small trishuls or something whenever enraged and bark at anyone when they make slight hint of fun of Hinduism and Modi Ji. Well, I am not. Yes, I am not.

    Let me tell you that I have never myself attended any ‘Shakha’. I have never been asked to do so, by my supposedly RSS affiliated hardcore family. Instead they have encouraged me to be curious and ask questions about things I didn’t understand. I have never been asked or forcefully dragged to any temple. In my family it self, there have been close to zero restrictions on womenfolk for doing anything. There are of course cries of discomfort when one got late but that was same for everyone and more related to discipline than anything. I was made aware about the interpretations of history, that it mostly favors the winner. In spite of being Hindu Brahmins who happen to be actual priests at many temples, literally, I have never been told to attend any pooja, do fasts and there have been absolutely no insistence on learning any Bhajan.

    Now I have few confusions in my mind about what RSS is and what people assume it to be since always and more so after 2014 General elections, everyone has been divided everyone into Left Wings, Right Wings, No Wings and whatever wing groups. From what I know, RSS is essentially a patriotic bunch of people who indulge in 2 things. One that is more popular in the media that they go overboard and claim things which cannot be proven easily about great achievements of our great country. Second, which gets nominal attention, that they also volunteer in social causes like Blood Donations, setting up disaster management camps and provide food and shelter to people in times of floods, draughts, etc. Some people who take RSS’s ideology on face value take pride in things Indians did without knowing anything. These are the same people who forward you mails/messages which say ‘Forward this to 15 people or bad luck is around the corner’. Now when we have understood the purpose of RSS, that is to keep the jwala of Patriotism, the love for the country and its people, there are many elements within RSS who speak more than they should and become Moral & Cultural Police. Their job is to just teach about what they think is wrong in this country. They have no right to act on the ideology physically. People are mature enough to understand that and if they are not, educate people. Since your interpretation is something, others have their own interpretations. Hostility won’t do good to anyone. Second, I don’t know what my political ideology is. Whether I am a Right Wing because I praised Modi for few things or whether I am left wing as I checked my symptoms online on a website which tells you what you are through some quizzes. For RSS, they can do their job as long as they want but they must understand that cultural mishaps of our country happened for various reasons and not all the mishaps have been bad. The rich fusion we now have is not bad at all. The patriotism they take pride in, sometimes becomes Xenophobia and thinking becomes one-dimensional which helps nobody. There are some people who find patriotism itself a waste of time, so it clearly proves that our society is full of various exclusive notions and opinions. Putting everyone in same bracket and covering everyone under same umbrella won’t do. More so, if you think some damage has been done to out culture, it would take centuries to gain back that glory, if there was as much as you believe. (And I guess you already know that and already on it). Another thing, most of the leader you have are bald, old and look like they didn’t get proper breakfast in the morning. You guys also need to chill a bit. Bring fresher faces, who know what they are talking about. Show things you believe in with proper conviction and remove those voices which talk about divide, rather than course correction, if it is required.

    Concluding, what my family told me and what I usually see on news, don’t coincide always. RSS will continue to work as a brotherhood and some people will just hate them as they think they are regressive. I guess, they are not regressive but their methods aren’t updated well enough with modern times. RSS should not be custodian of so called Indian culture but just a guiding light, as BJP claims it to be. And people should be free to follow or unfollow them.

    P.S.: Apology for the overcooked over-roasted overdone title.

    Some recommended reading stuff:

    1. RSS chief Mohan Bhagwat asks why all inhabitants of Hindustan are not known as Hindus http://www.dnaindia.com/india/report-rss-chief-mohan-bhagwat-asks-why-all-inhabitants-of-hindustan-are-not-known-as-hindus-2009725
    2. A Shorts History http://www.livemint.com/Opinion/BZ9SU3VsTDLTSwmeDIWlzO/Dj-View–A-shorts-history.html
    3. A bit of Apbransh (अपभ्रंश) study http://www.encyclopediaofauthentichinduism.org/articles/30.2.htm

  • Going too Fast?

    These are totally my views and my philosophy when it comes to Humor. Yours can be different. I am writing this to get a closure on this issue as I have wasted/invested a lot of thought this past week.

    Govt. has got you a road. That road has a speed limit which has been made so that both you and fellow travelers have safety. There’s even a Red Light at some point on the road but that is unmanned and Traffic Police is absent, as they consider you sane enough to abide by the rules and guidelines. Now you buy a vehicle which can run faster than others. You keep crossing the speed limit as it gives you thrill. Even the fellow passengers who piggy bank on you for their own motive find it fun and adrenaline pumping enjoyable. Now you have excelled at going past the speed limit without harassing (or hurting the sentiments) other travelers on the road. Since the traffic is less, you think of taking the red light head on and zoom pass it as well. Till there is no one crossing the road, you are fine. But one day, someone will be crossing and since you are already confident of yourself in breaking the boundary on a regular basis, you might end up scarying them, or brushing past or even colliding with them. In that case when someone tries to ask you to slow down a bit, do you have to slow down and think about your speed or do you have to stop driving at all. The road after the red light isn’t very smooth either.

    Also remember, we are a country full of people who drive on the Wrong Side of the road frequently. And they are not going to vanish soon.

    TL;DR?

    Wherever you work or study or live, it has a written or oral Code of Conduct. You might not be punished right away if you go beyond what is acceptable. But some people will take the onus on themselves to have you pay sometime later. For example, if you don’t get a good hike inspite of good work, you can cry foul and curse your manager publicly. And you deem it fit to do so because you didn’t get your deal fairly. Now manager knows that and he won’t punish you instantly. But wait for next appraisal which might get your rating even lower. Also expect some work assigned to you at weird timings like Friday evening. 🙂

    You might want to read Jerry Seinfeld on the use of profanity by clicking here.

    Also check out the GOLDEN take on Freedom of expression by XKCD.

    Free Speech

  • Take offence, but politely

    If I might, let me throw some light, from my side on this issue on our mind, far and wide, You may or may not take my bite into your stride, however I may add, this fad, kind of bad, is here to stay anyways till we realize that mostly all kinds of freedoms, come with a price. Nice? Read on but if you are looking for any surprise, there is none but you are already wise. This is about Freedom of Expression, an Utopian feeling which always stays in contention. While we act all up for that ‘FoE’ but it makes people less friendly and more our foe. Most of us, are anyways hypocritical and thus, we want our liberty all the while, while we ourselves stay in denial. That all is well and we shall raise our voice, as long as our havens stay safe and our steps have poise. The jokes you laugh at and you laugh at quite a few, work only when they are not on you. Your tantrums are pretty well known, you get offended on calling you anything, now please don’t moan or groan as you look to me as a person who is a grown up. Any joke made in haste, are often not in a good taste, but waste is your opinion or any reason on it, as someone else is getting splits because of it or may be even fits, if it fits.

    Here’s my take on Freedom of Speech:

    If you decide to create some content (in any form be it written, spoken or drawn) which doesn’t coincide with the usual[1] norms of the society, you are bound to get applause as well as hate. There will be many who will praise your ‘crossing the boundary’ and ‘pushing and kicking the envelope’. There will be many who won’t like it. You may claim that it is your freedom of speech and right to express (be it crass, vulgar and downright abusive or wonderfully created satire with wit and bit of double entendre which many aren’t capable of because it requires more effort). Now when you have right to express something (and serve it as comedy? Heh it is not funny though), you should expect retaliation and criticism of your work. It should[2] range from straight faced ridicule of the content and call it non-funny and not-so-awesome-as-people-claim to laughing it off as totally nonsense and in some cases getting very angry over it being non-funny and not-so-awesome-as-people-claim. This Anger[3] can sometime lead to people lodging complaints against you using the democratic way of using some Indian Penal Code law citing that your content hurt their feelings. Or, more importantly, it was not suitable to be shown in public. But, there will be a fringe group[4] which think they are beyond law and take it as their utmost duty to silence the creator by use of fear and may be violence.

    While I am 100% totally against these fringe moral brigade who think this is damaging our culture[5], the other non-violent people who got offended have full right to be offended and lodge a complaint with the police. Now here comes the question of whether they are so offended that they got up, went to a police station and actually complained because someone created some content which they didn’t like. Unfortunately, we people do have such people. And they are in plenty. Their LinkedIn bio boasts of skills like Joblessness, Ability to take offense at almost anything, knowledge of IPC laws (appreciable) and free time.

    So when you create something and people get offended, you should STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHT TO SAY STUFF and not delete the content out of fear while you yourself admit that nobody threatened you. If you are shutting down shop without giving a fight to the people who take your stuff to heart (and possibly to their grave or pyre), what is the point of pushing the envelope? Was that just a way to get quick publicity and establish brand name? The brand name which creates less intelligent stuff (some stuff is really very witty and definitely more intelligent than I can ever make) and more of crass, cuss word usage which can make you popular faster as compared to the other harder way for making it to the top by pure satire.

    Then there are people who condescend you since you didn’t like the Roast. Well, to be fair to them, I need not waste any space of this blog, except this line, on them. 😛

    One more thing… I want Freedom of Speech to be Absolute. But it is not possible. You cannot ever have consensus on everything, all the time. I am not being pessimistic, I am being realistic. In a country like ours which is so divided on so many lines, circles and triangles, it is next to impossible to agree on everything. The laws which currently exist, do exist because govt. can only be preventive. It cannot ensure your safety from violence all the time. This is a fact and you should know it. Plus, I also believe that our society is evolving, getting more open minded and it will surely be able to be more tolerant. Still, even after hundreds of years from now, someone somewhere will continue to feel bad because of you. If not anything, sometimes people’s faces or dressing styles can be offensive. Like someone getting their name’s embroidery all over their suit. So offensive I tell you. There is certainly a scope of getting our laws fairer. And making them more understandable and less fearful for cases like FoE. But I reiterate, the laws are for preventing bad things to happen. And if I recount human history, people have got offended usually on the basis of speeches and waged wars and what not.

    That is all.

    [1] Usual here means what most people are comfortable with and have accepted as normal. This again depends on context, place and mood.

    [2] But in realistic scenario, it isn’t.

    [3] We have a huge population so people who get angry in our country are in huge numbers as well.

    [4] Totally jobless idiotic guys with no sense of humor at all. Not even sense of humor, but no respect to the law and order situation, or respect to anyone’s human right. Totally unwanted scum of the Earth and fully deserving to be sent to Kalapani for their whole life where they could mate with each other and overpopulate the islands and die of starvation. Or become Zombies, whatever and get extinct.

    [5] Doesn’t exist. Please go and find a different country.

    P.S: I am not at all fond of AIB sort of comedy. I find those guys ugly. Of course they are funny but I cannot watch them or hear them, in fear of getting totally bored. May be this is my confirmation bias speaking against them. But that’s how it works, right!

    P.S.S: I got so much bored of this issue that I wrote another useless rhyme: http://toomuchgraphic.tumblr.com/post/109964186359/a-good-rhyme-nay

  • Too Long, Don't Read

    So 2015 has finally arrived and January is almost over. No idea what is the hurry. I mean it was barely 2010 few years ago and now this decade is almost half over. Anyways, these year numbers are man-made and there won’t be any year or any number after sometime. Remember, Sun will engulf you eventually.

    I have posted some scattered views of mine about religion in few posts in the past. I have never been the religious kind and apart from being superstitious about certain clothing items as they were more comfortable, I am not a believer of superstitions either. I rarely go to any temple, and that too because I had to accompany someone else. But I ‘did’ believe that someone up there is watching my actions and acting on that by rewarding or punishing me. However, my checklist of believing in that started fading few years ago and more recently, most of the remaining points got ticked off as QA failed. Recently I spent time in reading stuff and watching videos which helped a great deal in understanding what is wrong with our worldview about God and religion (whats right is the holidays https://abloquacitylab.wordpress.com/2014/04/15/confusionism/). Some of the stuff range from George Orwell’s 1984 to South Park, from George Carlin to Christopher Hitchens (What a man!) to Sam Harris and even a bit of Richard Dawkins and from RSS to RSS.

    Before anything else, I would like to put some thought for 1984 novel. It is said to be about a dystopian era where Govt. has a check on everything an individual does and ‘thinks’. While it is generally considered a word about Communist style of government (and even the Church), I think it is more related to the Theism than anything else. Big Brother or God is watching over you. You cannot question the authority. You cannot even think of stepping out because Godmen or the government will find about your thoughtcrime and punish you for it. There is a word for it: Blasphemy. Je suis Charlie is alright as long there is nobody pointing a gun towards your head.

    Coming back, there have been various factors behind me being pushed at the intersection of the venn diagrams of Atheism and believing and even being agnostic. Some of them are plain truths of life, some are untimely deaths of people who were dear and then there were news events such as killing of school kids in Peshawar which tend to tick off points faster.

    Through this post, I am trying to align or address my views in a systematic format (partially inspired from http://whatho.in/2014/08/16/things-i-believe-in/)

    1. You’re not special. Nope. You hold as much importance in the world as much as an ant does. You do fit in a larger scheme of things to keep things going but if you’re removed, someone else will take your place. If you do good at the tasks assigned to you, that’s a bonus. If you don’t, there is no point in wasting time over regretting as time is irreversible. And the only thing constant, apart from speed of light, is change. You should, however, keep trying to raise your skills and thereby living standards because who doesn’t want to buy things we don’t actually need.
    2. If possible, try to save your surroundings (which include land, animals and plants) as much as you can. By this I mean, try to be vegetarian. If you can’t, it is okay as taste > life of another organism. Now when it comes to comparing life of another organism to life of plants, all I can say is that to live you have to consume living things which include plant. If possible, you can minimize the damage by eating just plants and not animals with plants. But nobody can force you. If you like to eat non-veg, please keep doing so. Just don’t tell vegetarians that they eat ghaas-foos because your non-veg won’t taste any good without that ghaas-foos.
    3. Continuing on saving the surroundings, minimize use of leather because it involves killing of animals. And killing of animals is (bad, mkay?) required because science has made enough progress that we know how to cook (and not hunt), and how to cultivate (and not kill) and what to wear (not animal skin). Still, if you like, wear fur, leather, whatever.
    4. Karm or Karma is nothing but Newton’s 3rd law. For each of your actions, you can expect a reaction. But, for some of your efforts, you might not get the equal reaction because you are not the only one making efforts. There is nothing like if you do good now, you will get lifetime achievement award later in life. No. There is no guarantee.
    5. You need not please God for getting things in return. God is you yourself and the other voice in your head which tells you what is right morally and what is wrong legally. Act on it and follow the only mantra of life: Live & Let Live. Also, don’t preach but if you think you are right, you can put across your opinion, like I am doing. And I may be wrong.
    6. Since by birth and by tradition, I am a Hindu and Hinduism allows a certain degree of atheism (unlike some other religions, mostly Abrahmic), I will continue to write Hindu in the forms, to please my people. But my opinion has now been affirmed which will take another ‘Resurrection’ sort of miracle to change.
    7. Don’t preach. Keep your belief to yourself but it is never wrong to speak what you think.

    P.S: There are certain things which happened to our (still not the perfect heaven) country (and religion) over the years which divided the people somehow. For instance, during the times, religion was more of a way of life than motivation to kill others, people from other places invaded us, looted our property and damaged our buildings. And, they also brought various cultures and good things which make India what it is today, an amalgamation of numerous religions, dialects, colors, faces and many problems.So change is welcome, violence is not. This was again motivated by religion in a way. Well, this is a topic I would touch later when I write about RSS and Nationalism, so this post ends here. I hope you didn’t read it. Good.

  • Humor is dying

    Humor is dying

    They say that Print is dying. Which is technically correct, print has always been dying ink onto paper. But sadly, digital media is actually killing the newspaper. Not because everyone now has a mobile phone with Internet and everything is available online easily. But because the quality of newspaper hasn’t increased much and admit it, it is difficult to hold while you are on a commode, unlike your phone which is so easy (until it slips from your hand and…)

    The print is actually dying faster nowadays because new age websites which present content in lists and bullet points have become immensely popular. Their motive is to break down the story into 35 points or average IQ of the reader (whichever is lower) to make people understand the point the news is trying to make. Now since I am a very happy going (jolly?) and optimistic person, I don’t like to read sad news only. Enough of killing, corruption, crimes against women and hatred against creed, caste or religion. I expect a piece which is full of satire, wit, and name calling of anyone with whom I don’t agree with. So to find genuine humor in a newspaper, either you have to read a Hindi newspaper where all news items are deliberately presented with a headline which unintentionally sounds funny, or you have to find lighthearted humor pieces online.

    Online there were funny blogs and funny columns. Then there were sites like Faking News and Unreal Times, to name a few, which were doing a fine job but their problem was that people didn’t read anything apart from first 8-9 words which happened to be their headline. But they surely had wit and good humor if not the best. Then in the last couple of years, new websites came up which you won’t believe, that they could blow your mind the next minute you log onto them. I wouldn’t share their URLs because hyper-linking is endorsement but I will give slight hints which might appear as Buzzfeed and their desi copy paste jobs like scoopwhoop, etc.

    Ok, serious stuff from this line: These websites present comedy (and sometimes pictures from email forwards of the late 90s) with lists and have GIFs or just normal photos accompanying the 2-3 word text. This is because pictures are louder than words, we all know that and editorial quality of such websites is almost zero, why write text when you can post pictures. One of the common topics they touch is nostalgia by posting lists of 298 things you could do in the 90s but cannot do now. Or 85 radio advertisements which people miss nowadays because they don’t listen to the radio much. Or 36 types of people who are sexist because 24 hours a day they all talk about 36 sized people. But the lists and GIFs or normal pics with 28 pt sized text in Impact font with a stroke of 3 pts. are just for distraction. The best part about them are the headlines. These headlines might make you cry or blow your mind or make your limbs dysfunctional. The template for these headlines is so brilliant that it can never go old.

    Now my point is that such websites are killing humor, shamelessly. They are making a reader keep his/her brain aside and laugh where they tell them to laugh. There is no subtle hidden humor which can make you smile. They have content which begs you to LOL by reminding you 25 things you might find funny but they aren’t but since we have added GIFs of emergency cute animals in them, they surely have become adorable.The reader doesn’t have to implement even a bit of the gray cell to read some genuinely good stuff which doesn’t accompany any picture. (like this text, hehe). The attention span had already taken a hit by those 140 character websites and now the sense of humor or the HQ or Humor Quotient has shattered into 128 pieces which got mixed with the brain which had blown a while ago. I tried giving them some attention but couldn’t laugh at it, in the same way, I cannot laugh at sitcoms which have a laughter track in them. Where are the good old pieces which tingled your funny bone and also shared the horrific news by mellowing them down to the level of humor? What happened to subtle humor which changed your opinion about things without making you go through pictures which take a huge amount of time to load on your mobile if you are inside a loo and you have only 2G?. I hope people move over these lists and come back to the real deal of text and larger attention spans. Amen.

    So, if you didn’t read anything above since there were no bullet points or ordered lists, the summary is this: Humor is dying. (Same as the headline. Did it blow your mind?)

    P.S.: My last post on this was an NSFW comic. I loved making it because it incorporated elements from few of my fav. web comics. Though, most didn’t understand that. Can’t blame because you like spending time on 9Gag more than the sites from where they curate stuffs actually.

    Featured Photo by:

    Austin Chan

  • Apple and Open Source Issues

    Apple is going to have its coveted event on 9.9.14 and will probably bring another revolutionary device, as people assume. It has been 30 years since Mac arrived. It was a revolutionary product back then in 1984 when personal computing was still a far-fetched joke for the geeks and nerds. However, soon Windows arrived and whatever Microsoft did, by hook or crook, changed Apple. The same is happening again.

    In 2007, iPhone arrived and changed the course of how the mobile phones will be made in future. This is 2014 and we have already forgotten 2007. While Samsung has been the real competition, several other small players using Android OS has actually shaken Apple heavily.

    Before I start my rant, let me tell I don’t own any Apple product except iTunes. Wait, let me confirm. Yes, all my vital organs are intact, so yes, I don’t own any Apple product. And before 2013, I had never used any Apple product myself. But then I was an Apple fanboy. (See!) Then by chance, I got to work on Apple machines for office work and I started hating them because of their closed and rigid design and the non-stop crashing of Microsoft and Oracle applications made for Mac. I had no problems with the native Apple applications ever however. Also, the hardware design is so brilliant that no other machine comes close to it.

    So after using a Mac for 1 year and developing a good bit of hatred because its hype and non-flawlessness (and because I was officially working on it) I just started using Windows again and felt the difference. One kind of misses the Mac and its solid hardware software integration because Windows seems so fragile and made of low quality plywood over which if you stand, it might break. So while writing this, I like Mac better but since it is SO COSTLY STILL and non-flawlessness, I don’t know whether I am an Apple fanboy anymore or not. My stance towards Windows is still same, that is, its just okay. Now let me come to the main motive of this post.

    I think there are a few things which once created, don’t belong to the creator. For instance, Language and few forms of arts. Urdu for instance cannot belong to Muslims, as it is treated in India. Similarly, more importantly infact, Sanskrit is linked to Hindus but I think Languages cannot be held married to a certain religion. Same goes with Programming languages. C language was invented in early 70s and still being used all over the world for several purposes. Because it was Open Source (as in anyone can write a program in C, just with a compiler), it has flourished. Similarly, the art like dance. Michael Jackson might have patented the Anti-Gravity move but how can you stop anyone from doing it? The concept of patent itself is honest but used ferociously because people misuse and abuse them. I mean, patent was created so that the person who invented gets royalty and respect and while the other person uses it, gives the creator due credit for the labor one invested in creating the thing. Take the example of Elon Musk. His company Tesla Motors recently announced that anyone is allowed to use their technology to create better things. Such a nice gesture and totally Anti-Apple where using rounded corners by other companies had become such a huge issue. Now when it comes to music, if one creates a tune/song, in today’s world, it would take seconds to bootleg/rip it and be put online somewhere for free download. Being snobby while being an artist cannot work. Indian Ocean band stopped selling their stuffs and now rely only on their stage performance where they charge an entry fee because they thought that there art suffered because of snobbery of record publishing music companies. Lucky Ali’s last album Rastaman, was uploaded for free download.

    Now when it comes to graphic design, one visual form can be adapted by anyone and can use it anywhere. Respect comes when you acknowledge from where you got the inspiration. Everyone cannot do that.

  • Confusionism

    It is slightly difficult being an Atheist, I feel. Without enraging a lot of people, one cannot follow/unfollow what one wants, when one wants, religion-wise. Personally, I do think there’s a higher (or lower but what is up and down) power which somehow controls things to avoid falling into one another but I also think that for the higher power, I am equally important as the electric poles which are used by dogs. So I am confused about the category of my religious inclination towards something I don’t understand.

    In few years I will be reaching 30. Sigh. (And you’re not getting any younger either by the way, so don’t smirk). And since I can conclude that I have lived at least 1/3rd of my life already, I have become more confused than clear about the concept of religion. Too much Breaking Bad, South Park, Game of Thrones and real life examples of dwindling morals seen in the trailing part of 20s did me in. I decided that I am now going to question my beliefs and ask questions, wherever possible. Except Quora as I mostly see joke answers there now.

    It was observed that most of the beliefs I had (as a Hindu) are just because of traditions. Since it is traditionally been followed since years, we have to follow it. May be they started as suggestions to keep people disciplined and that was that. But now people follow them just following the herd mentality. Don’t get haircut on Tuesday. Why? May be in the Vedas, it was mentioned that barbers had an off day on Tuesday which turned to a superstition eventually. Don’t eat certain things in Navratra and other times, it is alright to do anything. Moreover, I don’t feel like pleasing Gods to get things done for myself. What is the need to bribe God through praying? God is like your traffic police, is it? Going to temples is anyways not a necessity in my religion (yes seriously) because if God is omnipresent, he/she can directly understand what you’re thinking anyways. And how selfish are you to ask things from God again and again? Not a good habit. Religions have mostly led to hatred and illogical debates which pleased nobody except the politicians. It has always created divide and disharmony among humans, isn’t it? Morality and religion need not coincide and as Rust Cohle says ‘If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward then, brother, that person is a piece of shit.’.

    But then important question is that what is the need of religion. Why do we need to be tethered to a religion to keep ourselves grounded?

    There are so many advantages of Religion as well, aren’t there? The advantages outnumber the disadvantages? Let me try to list them and see.

    1. Stress Buster 
    When one is down and out (because of traffic and life in general) and have nobody around to share, a shoulder to care (for the rhymes), a temple be it of any religion can be a great place for solace. The silence there can cure stress better than paying loads of cash at some Ashram++ to detox yourself. Oh, Internet works in that case too by the way. (I should mention that I don’t support the culture of preaching and loud speakers reciting parody songs at religious places.)

    2. Underground Bunkers 
    When wars happen, places of worship are spared for sometime (I may be wrong) because most of the non-atheists fears God. So that place can be safer than the rest. Unless of course the war is itself religion based. In that case, build an underground bunker and stay there for minimum 18 days and don’t come out even if I say it is safe to come out.

    3. Holiday Planning 
    But the best part about religion are the Holidays and the Festivals. We get at max 10 official holidays, 3 of which happened to be Secular (read Indian National) holidays. Now as an atheist, what right do I have to ask for such Holidays. I once wished someone Happy Diwali on Whatsapp and the reply I got was ‘Happy Holiday’. Anyways, if we followed more than one religion, we would enjoy a lot more. With religious holidays comes great sweets and other eatables. And the purpose of life is to relish those sweets, isn’t it? The buildup to these festivals is exciting in itself. Who cares that why the festival is celebrated. Important is that it is celebrated and we get a chance pollute environment and waste water! If Crime is done as a religious belief, everything is spared, right? But getting holidays is always welcome, isn’t it?

    We have to decide ourselves whether we want long weekends or unnecessary stress because we didn’t fast on Karwachauth.

    P.S.: Don’t confuse the title with Confucianism but may be they’re confused too. Ooh.

  • The Art vs The Artist

    Music is pretty much like religion. If you force it on to someone, it leaves a very peculiar taste in mouth. And so goes with any other kind of art form as well but you can’t close your ears to the music around.

    Mostly people don’t distinguish between the two. If an artist has created something genius, the artist is considered to be a genius as well. Fandom of theirs starts considering them Godlike. All their moves, gestures, antics and styles are imitated. And then a certain point comes when even if the artist creates lowest grade of work by their own and general standard, no fan can ought to take it like a good loser. Although it is perfectly okay to be a non-genius sometimes but who will tell this to the fan!

    There are certain songs which are easy to listen. Listen to it once, you will like or dislike it. Like ‘Get Lucky’ of Daft Punk. Listen to it once, and automatically your foot starts tapping. Then there are certain songs which take their time to ‘grow’ on you. I remember, it was 1999 when the movie ‘Taal’ was released and it was the first time when Subhash Ghai was collaborating with the genius AR Rahman. Rahman hadn’t won any Oscar then and had composed music for only a handful of Hindi films. Although, his genius was proven already thanks to the still his best work till date ‘Bombay’ and ‘Roja’. When I first heard the CD of Taal, I wasn’t particularly amused by it. It felt like weird experiments of uncommon instruments and usage of sounds of rain which were a rarity in Hindi Music. Though, after repeated listenings, I started liking the songs. Since then, I can relate to someone when they say they’re giving Rahman repeated plays to let the songs grow on them. This has gone a bit far now as there are a number of ‘Rahmaniacs’ who cannot believe that there could be some people who might have not liked the music of ‘Rockstar’, etc.

    Eminem’s ‘Stan’ (and now ‘Bad Guy’) tell the story of fans who went berserk over the artist and took their works literally word by word. Well, majority of Eminem’s songs are referring to himself and he insists on telling his fans that love his music but leave him alone. Respect the artwork he has created but let him live the life he wants. Enjoy the songs but let him enjoy a peaceful supper with his family if he goes out in the evening to some restaurant. Usually, as it goes with any ‘star’, if they’re seen in public, people barge in on them and at times, the ‘star’ obliges to give auto & photographs. Though sometimes, given the pressure of looking good, carrying the ego of a public figure and amount of public going gaga over them, they lose their temper and misbehave. That’s why thinking of meeting your favourite artist is like trying to meet the president of some nation.

    Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo and Thomas Bangalter rock. And they just don’t rock like any other rockstar, they rock like no one does. I am talking about the guys behind Daft Punk. ‘Around the World’ hit me a long time ago and then I heard ‘Aerodynamic’, ‘Da Funk’, ‘Crescendolls’, etc and ‘Random Access Memories’ has made me their permanent fan. And this is where they (and Eminem too for a bit) hold me from becoming a fanatic. They don’t appear much on TV, don’t give many interviews, and when they do, they are always in their super brilliant disguise with those amazing Helmets. Their point of view is that they want their music to take the front stage and let their personal details stay hidden underneath those lovely Robotic Helmets (which go by the kind of music they create).

    To put it simply, the art will surely outlive the artist. I am going to cherish the art more and worry less about the artist. I am going to give full respect to the artist for creating that art which moved me but I am also going to show my discomfort with the art by the same artist which failed to impress me.

  • Going Offline

    To start the first post on a new blogging platform with ‘Going Offline’ as the title is mildly awkward but this is what I am going to write about to debut on Svbtle.

    My aim in 2014 to go off the Google Search. Or to at least push my name to second page of Google Search and let others who bear the same name get the chance to the show their mettle, if any. On the images link, I want no image of me lurking around from any social media website barring the ones already published on any news media site because one cannot ask them to bring the pics down. To achieve this, I have already decided to stay social but stay low profile. That is, I have removed all the pictures where I happen to be tagged on Facebook. Set the privacy settings on Facebook (oxymoron?) to ‘only me’ on all the profile pictures and deleted all the always-public cover pictures.

    On Twitter, the aim is to collate the ideas which were behind those wasted 140 characters and put them into meaningful blog posts. This is bit like talking to myself instead of just shouting a couple of words in a day for no effect but just to get some RTs. I won’t meddle much with Google.com/+ because nobody cares anyways.

    Well, the reason behind this sudden decision to stay low profile on Internet is because it has become too much in our lives. Sharing lives online has become more than what it was intended to be. People are getting judged over how active or social they are online is absolutely uncalled for but unavoidable. Although, I am not going to be anonymous. Online anonymity is a good thing if you want to say whatever you want but don’t want any trouble. But I have decided to still say whatever I want without worrying about any trouble. Being honest is the best way to keep hair on your head.

    I am done with the urge to get comments and likes and RTs for small things. (You can give Kudos here but I will try to ignore them too.) I just want to go offline and breathe a bit more, run a bit more, write a bit more and create a bit more.

    P.S.: I am also going to publish the same on my ongoing blog on WordPress.

    (Published on abnv.svbtle.com simultaneously)

     

    Update on 3rd May 2014: Giving up on profile picture on Facebook because I have been told that this is not the age to hide. Point duly noted.