Abhinav Bhatt

FU News: Uber for protests launched

In an interesting turn of events, a startup company, which earlier dealt with raw materials for arranging a protest like placards, banners, stones, unemployed youth, and water cannons (if you happen to be in their right books), has launched an Android App, ‘Stonr : The Dharna App’. This app has been made to meet the increasing demands of protests.

Stonr: Uber for Protests

“There is a huge demand for arranging various things for a successful protest. So we thought, it is worthwhile to invest in Stonr”, its founder said. With this app, you needn’t worry about logistics of a protest. You can just enter the location, timing, headcount and tentative number of stones required and voila! the app take cares of the rest. Any jobless youth interested in protesting, can register themselves as ‘Protestrs’ and find any nearby protests and can join in. Whenever there is lack of material and protesters, the app provides a ‘Surge’ where joinees will get free caps, and a 2 minute primer of the cause of protest, in case any journalist asks.

The app is based on a freemium model where first protests will be free provided you use the promocode ‘DHARNA’. Afterwards, the protestee will have to pay a sum of Rs. 100,000 per protest for 100 protesters and Rs. 250 thereon for more headcount per person.

The app is currently available only on Android but soon it will be on other OS too. ‘Stonr’ has already started getting traction and has had 2 Million downloads. Unicorns like HardBank and U-Capital have shown intentions to invest in the app and they value it in billions already.

App Screenshots via Freepik.com

Disclaimer: FU News is Fake Unconfirmed News.

When Sniper’s Red Dot is on your forehead

To quote one guy on Instagram, recently I had the fortunate experience of writing a few online exams. I had written about the adrenaline rush of writing an exam itself but to top all that, the real fun is when you have to keep your video on and a proctor is looking at your moves.

Here’s some unsolicited advice for you

Some people have a personality that makes you believe that they can be bothered for personal advice. They have an air of stability and sound decision making. They look like if you tell them your secrets, they will keep them end-to-end encrypted.

When I was in college, few friends were open to telling me about their crushes and stuff, assuming that I won’t reveal. Something made them think that I, for one, won’t interfere, and second, might guide them further. I did guide them and today they are happily married. To someone else, of course. I lured the others to actually reveal their secrets by sending them a link to share their 3 crushes and then reading their responses. Phishing and college pranks and whatnot.

Wordplay

Listen and Silent are made up of the same letters.
Anger is 1 letter away from Danger.
Empty – mpty – mpt – mt – ____ mean the same thing.
Paronomasia (pun) is pretty close to Paranoia.
Having a funny WIFI name is okay. Real bravado is when you share the password.

Source: I don’t remember.

Photo by Mareko Tamaleaa on Unsplash

Return it Easy Policy

In 1994, when Prabhudeva danced on the top of a transparent bus to woo some girls in the Tamil movie Kadhalan, he didn’t realize that inadvertently, he was peddling some common Indian antics.

Stalking while putting life in danger
Climbing on the buses because who needs AC
Basically, Taking it Easy Policy

Paying Back

Some days ago, I read about a Banker, who was once a student from not a very well-to-do family. When he got admission as a student at BIT, Mesra, he didn’t have money to travel for the counseling. One of his teachers lent him Rs. 500. The student couldn’t be happier. Later, when he tried to pay back, the teacher had changed jobs and he could never payback.

Recently, it was known that the student, has now become MD of IDFC Bank and he gifted that teacher, shares worth Rs. 30 Lacs. Because he had helped him in his earlier days.