RSS Feed

Suppose you want to go and buy Shorts for yourself and you are particularly interested in buying Khakhi colored ones. You have to be pretty careful so that you don’t end up buying something which remotely resembles RSS’s style ‘nekar‘. Unless you actually want to.

For the uninitiated, RSS or Rashtriya Swyamsevak Sangh is a Non-Governmental-Organization in India which generally deals with terms like Nationalism, Hinduism and few other -isms. How much do you know about it, also defines your political leanings, according to some. Without going into too much nitty-gritty of its history, I would directly state my state of confusions with them as an organization and me as an Indian individual.

From what I know, RSS believes that India was, once upon a time, united from Afghanistan to Myanmar, popularly called ‘Akhand Bharat’. That time was when India was truly ‘Sone ki chidiya’ and it was the hub for education, science, culture and literature. When we were prosperous and gay, the other world, specifically Europe, was not as flourishing as it is today. There were still reeling under the ‘dark ages’ and far from being civilized under a common rule/government and mostly lived in tribes. RSS, also believes that since India has been invaded by foreign forces, namely Islamic armies of Central Asia and then Europeans sailors and eventually Britain, we have got corrupted, our cultures have been damaged, our literature has been burnt, our temples have been ransacked and many people who used to be ‘Hindus’ have been converted into Abrahamic religions by force or fear or bribery. Moreover, some people from within RSS and ideologically affiliated to them like Purshottam Nagesh Oak, have claimed that many palaces/mosques/forts currently in India, which appear to be made during Islamic rule, were mostly Hindu places and temples which were taken over and renovated as to look like they were the art works of rulers. The rulers who were mostly illiterate and more interested in vices instead of making Mahals for a pity thing called Love.

Apart from the above, they have felt strongly, that after the Independence, the governments, particularly Congress, have appeased the minority religions for personal gain, propagated false stories about India’s past and in turn, have made the people forget about their origins, their culture, their religion and their duty towards the nation. Thus, they have taken it upon themselves, the responsibility, to take India forward through a social movement, which might last centuries, towards the same glory days, Indians used to see before they were conquered. They call themselves, proudly I must add, ‘Hindu nationalists’. And they’re pretty serious about it.

Now let me be serious too. Here’s a little revelation: I come from a family of hardcore RSS supporting people. Both paternal and maternal family has had connections with them. My immediate to immediate ancestors were regulars to ‘Shakhas’ and they also truly believe in whatever RSS believes in. So, whatever I am today, that is borderline whatever-istically-nihilistic-ally-atheist-ically-still-a-Hindu some of my opinions have surely been influenced by my family. I have seen (didn’t read them all though) books which talk about the cultural corruption we Indians have gone through because of foreign invasions of about 1000 years. I have seen pictures in those books which interpreted from various Dan-Brown-Styled symbology studies that most of the so-called Hindu-Islamic architecture was a clever copy paste job of Islamic symbols over the already existent palaces/temples to make them look like they were freshly erected during their era. PN Oak was the forerunner of this cause where he propagated and preached about his findings that govt. is just appeasing the minority to garner votes and keeping the public little confused and mostly fooled. Keeping the general public under a bit of inferiority will help the government to rule without much opposition for a longer duration of time. And he believed in certain other things too, along with the other people from that organization, that India was the epitome of everything before the conquests happened. Our science was supreme. We knew plastic surgery (you might have read about Sushrutha). We excelled in Ayurveda and Yoga. Our languages like Sanskrit had a heavy influence on the Europe and Western World. And this influence is so much that I will just throw some words and their English names: Caspian Sea – Kashyap Sagar, Mexico – Makshik (Copper and Iron Pyrite mineral which is Silver-Gold in color. Also, Mexico has several Silver Mines), Vatican – Vatika (Swamy39 will confirm), Anatomy – Anaatmi, and you already know it Taj Mahal – Tejomahalaya, etc. There is also a theory that there is a Shivling under Mecca. (Hehe) Well, I know about Proto Indo Aryan Languages and their evolution/spread/impact but I am still stating what RSS believes in without any bias. Apart from that, I myself have seen mutilated idols at many places, like Qutub Minar and Hampi’s temples to name a few. Now, if you have read all of the above (kya baat!), you would assume that I am one of those Virat Internet Hindoos who wear Saffron colored bands across the foreheads and flash small trishuls or something whenever enraged and bark at anyone when they make slight hint of fun of Hinduism and Modi Ji. Well, I am not. Yes, I am not.

Let me tell you that I have never myself attended any ‘Shakha’. I have never been asked to do so, by my supposedly RSS affiliated hardcore family. Instead they have encouraged me to be curious and ask questions about things I didn’t understand. I have never been asked or forcefully dragged to any temple. In my family it self, there have been close to zero restrictions on womenfolk for doing anything. There are of course cries of discomfort when one got late but that was same for everyone and more related to discipline than anything. I was made aware about the interpretations of history, that it mostly favors the winner. In spite of being Hindu Brahmins who happen to be actual priests at many temples, literally, I have never been told to attend any pooja, do fasts and there have been absolutely no insistence on learning any Bhajan.

Now I have few confusions in my mind about what RSS is and what people assume it to be since always and more so after 2014 General elections, everyone has been divided everyone into Left Wings, Right Wings, No Wings and whatever wing groups. From what I know, RSS is essentially a patriotic bunch of people who indulge in 2 things. One that is more popular in the media that they go overboard and claim things which cannot be proven easily about great achievements of our great country. Second, which gets nominal attention, that they also volunteer in social causes like Blood Donations, setting up disaster management camps and provide food and shelter to people in times of floods, draughts, etc. Some people who take RSS’s ideology on face value take pride in things Indians did without knowing anything. These are the same people who forward you mails/messages which say ‘Forward this to 15 people or bad luck is around the corner’. Now when we have understood the purpose of RSS, that is to keep the jwala of Patriotism, the love for the country and its people, there are many elements within RSS who speak more than they should and become Moral & Cultural Police. Their job is to just teach about what they think is wrong in this country. They have no right to act on the ideology physically. People are mature enough to understand that and if they are not, educate people. Since your interpretation is something, others have their own interpretations. Hostility won’t do good to anyone. Second, I don’t know what my political ideology is. Whether I am a Right Wing because I praised Modi for few things or whether I am left wing as I checked my symptoms online on a website which tells you what you are through some quizzes. For RSS, they can do their job as long as they want but they must understand that cultural mishaps of our country happened for various reasons and not all the mishaps have been bad. The rich fusion we now have is not bad at all. The patriotism they take pride in, sometimes becomes Xenophobia and thinking becomes one-dimensional which helps nobody. There are some people who find patriotism itself a waste of time, so it clearly proves that our society is full of various exclusive notions and opinions. Putting everyone in same bracket and covering everyone under same umbrella won’t do. More so, if you think some damage has been done to out culture, it would take centuries to gain back that glory, if there was as much as you believe. (And I guess you already know that and already on it). Another thing, most of the leader you have are bald, old and look like they didn’t get proper breakfast in the morning. You guys also need to chill a bit. Bring fresher faces, who know what they are talking about. Show things you believe in with proper conviction and remove those voices which talk about divide, rather than course correction, if it is required.

Concluding, what my family told me and what I usually see on news, don’t coincide always. RSS will continue to work as a brotherhood and some people will just hate them as they think they are regressive. I guess, they are not regressive but their methods aren’t updated well enough with modern times. RSS should not be custodian of so called Indian culture but just a guiding light, as BJP claims it to be. And people should be free to follow or unfollow them.

P.S.: Apology for the overcooked over-roasted overdone title.

Some recommended reading stuff:

  1. RSS chief Mohan Bhagwat asks why all inhabitants of Hindustan are not known as Hindus
  2. A Shorts History–A-shorts-history.html
  3. A bit of Apbransh (अपभ्रंश) study

The new JEE

Not just Sherlock Holmes, but we all think and react in subtitles, citations and labels. I mean whenever we meet someone, we draw conclusions (or rather our hypothesis) out of the people, first, by their physical appearances, and then by their voice and lastly by their names. Tool-tips emerge from all the places possible from the person we’re interacting with which enables to us make an impression of that person in our mind. No? Try imagining at least for author’s sake. Now this mental picture of stereotyping was pretty fine and fairly accurate till the time we decided to jot them down, in our so-called religious text and named the Chapter as ‘The Classification of People’. In India, we conveniently call it ‘The Caste System’. Basically, the Hindus were divided into 4 classes, namely:

  1. Brahmins
  2. Kshtriyas
  3. Vaishyas
  4. Shudras

Of course the list is in order of their decreasing importance in status. Now I am not going into their history and its pros and cons. There have been disastrously long debates over need of reservations and all that. But just recently, I came across one Twitpic which showed ‘some’ people in a ‘certain’ city were following a weird filter to allow only Brahmins to buy property. There are societies everywhere who want to have people of a certain castes living as neighbors. Totally thumbs up, yo!

Only Brahmins
Only Brahmins

Unlike other bloggers and intellectual people, I am not here to show my outrage against this, for the record I find this as narrow minded as rivers of Rajasthan during summers. Rather, I am here to help people discriminate others in a better and systematic way on the basis of their color, religion, caste, creed or sex, etc. which we had  studied in Civics. Yep, you read correctly, I am here to help people differentiate people.

So it has come to my notice that people are not able to differentiate people properly. People can judge others instantly but not always they’re right. You can get a lot if you get to know a person’s name. The mind traverses the binary tree of your whole khandaan  instantly after your name is fully heard. Here’s an example.

If you hear the name, you first think about the surname. North Indian, South Indian, East Indian or West Indian. Now suppose the person has a name which is less than 20 characters. Then, the person surely is from North. If the person has all the gods name in their name, South Indian. Now, the person could be amongst BKV or S (caste-wise). Ok, Brahmin. Which kind of brahmin? Because, yes, there are millions of kinds of Brahmins. Heh, and all think that they are superior brahmins than the other. OK, you are superior, fine. What’s your Gotra now? Ooh, you don’t know? Tch. There are millions of Gotras too which further classify the kind of Brahmins. I am sure, this has something to do with structure of Universe and Atom. First you are a Brahmin, then, Vaishnav Brahmin, then Bharadwaj Gotra, then some Sub Gotra A, then Sub Sub Gotra B and so on, just like Galaxy, Solay System, Planets, Atoms, Nucleus, mesons, quarks, etc. Posh, totally. So if you planning to fall in love, make sure the person you are going to like falls in your caste. Another point, just the caste should be same, not the gotras. If Gotras are same, your young ones might be born with super human capabilities or x-men types nature. If you are planning to give house on rent, make sure the new tenants are of your same caste, otherwise whole vastu can conspire to bring your name down in the society. Make sure, when you go to a restaurant, the cook who has prepared food for you is of your same caste too. The chicken you have ordered, should be born and brought up in the house of the person of the same caste. And even the chicken itself should be of same caste, gotra optional.

But sadly, many young people don’t know all this. Blame it on their school or Facebook. They have totally absurd perception about castes and sects. Like in Western-Central and Southern India, some people generally believe that if a person doesn’t want onion in their food, they are asking for Jain food. Utterly wrong. I am not a Jain, I kill insects. But still I am a vegetarian and don’t want onion and garlic in my food, officially. While, many Jains I know have onion and garlic compulsorily in their diet. Will they go to hell? Time will tell.

So I have come up with an idea of Entrance Test. Entrance Exam for Castes. We can call it JEE only. ‘Jaatpaat Entrance Examination’ or ‘Jaathpaath Entrance Examination’ to make South Indian people understand. This should be a written test and only if one is able to score 75%, then only one should be allowed to called a certain caste person. After passing the written test, one might go for further verbal session where you have to display your mettle verbally too. Suppose you are a Brahmin and you are Yagyopaveet (thread) wearing one, you have to show all the kreeyas which you are supposed to do. There are many kreeyas but most popular ones are Early morning, brahma muhurat one and one sandhya vandan. If you are not doing this, your brahmin title can be relinquished. Now, suppose you are a lower caste person and want to upgrade your caste. Well buddy, that is not possible in this birth  but unofficially, you can pwn the upper caste person by using the magic wand called as Reservation for SC/ST and OBC. That helps and you can use the same wand for your kids, even if you don’t need it financially but who cares, caste is important.

For those, who want to capitalize on this and open coaching centers, please contact me. I have many people around who excel in telling the religion and castes of people just by looking at their shoes or nails if the person is not wearing any shoes. Also, thinking of creating a startup who supports IVR which helps people in determining each other’s caste before getting into a phone based Long Distance Relationship.

And oh, what is your caste anyways? If you are not eligible, I demand you to unread this blog now itself.