FU News: Machine Learning Model for Predicting Maid Abstaining Days

stainless steel sink with faucet

It might come as a surprise but the Data Scientists at FU News are humans too. It is their duty to present useful information to the world but they cannot be held accountable if the heap of utensils in the sink grows exponentially large. That’s because they cannot do the dishes if they have to dish out fishy stories week after week. So they outsource the cleaning part to Maids (as they are respectfully called in India as Bai which means Sister).

There is usually a cordial relationship between a house and the maid. The balance of power of course (due to the long history of Indian Culture which disabled the men to learn even basic chores) is towards the maids because they have the power to bring a peaceful house on its knees (literally). In terms of importance and usefulness in a house, the order is usually Maid > Missus > Kids > etc. > Men. Maids do hold the key to a successful household. You cannot and should not even think of arguing with them. No, please don’t. No.

But what if Maid takes unannounced leaves? What if the Maid (or cook for that matter, this blog doesn’t stereotype) bunks randomly? What if the sink overflows and the pile of unwashed dishes turn into a tsunami and engulfs everything?

Maid In India Machine Learning Model

To answer such questions, the Data Scientists at FU News took various parameters and came up with a model to predict when the Maid won’t show up and save the day. The model is too hard to comprehend for the meek readers of this blog due to their IQ but the results are easy to understand nevertheless.

Results

A maid would take leave(s):

  • Just the next day after the Salary Day
  • If it is raining or it hasn’t rained for many days
  • When the road outside is dug up outside her house
  • When the road outside is dug up outside your house
  • Elections are around the corner
  • Mondays, (also based on your overeating habits on Weekends)
  • Sick Days (genuine leaves, 5 days a month is reasonable no?)
  • Week Offs (this can be pre-decided but not followed)
  • Random Days
  • Festivals (everyone is entitled to take leaves during such time)
  • If the days since last leave taken is a prime number, odd number, and lastly
  • if ϴ > 1.5. (To know what ϴ is, subscribe to our main channel and pay us money for hosting of this site)

We hope that such results would help you in predicting the Maid Abstaining days and keep your unwashed dishes, clothes, and basic cleanliness of your place in check.

Next time, the Data Scientists are planning to create a AI/ML based Road Repair Days forecast model for Indian Roads.


Disclaimer: FU News believes in Falsehood at its core.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

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