Rise of the Planet of the Monkey Thieves

Ok, so I don’t review movies because to review movies you have to either watch the movie with full on concentration of a 99% Hydro-Chloric Acid analyzing each and every fiber of the movie screen or re-view movie several times so that you can remember at what instant Director forgot the script or when Actor acted like a Chimp or when something wrong happened. Who the hell has the time and patience for that? And I don’t do anything unless I am paid or praised. Also, I don’t want to do it. Therefore I leave movie reviewing to more intelligent primates.Happy?

So yesterday I saw the movie ‘Rise of the Planet of The Apes’ 1.5 times with a friend. Actually I was half way through the movie which was going through a turning point when I got a call from my room-mate that I had to urgently pick up a courier at home as the courier was almost at the doorstep and nobody was home and the room-mate was at office. Bloody pWnage happened. So I had to run in the middle to collect. But since I had tasted blood so I had to complete the movie same day. So I came again and bought the tickets for the next show and watched the movie. You wanted to know what is #Facepalm? This is.


Now when you have arrived till this paragraph, I would not disappoint you. Lets review the movie. Heh. I liked the movie as it gives the same 1990s nostalgic feel when humans become unable to resist nature. I loved it when a group of apes out-thought humans and made them pay for their own mistakes. So I liked the movie as I saw it 1.5 times. The special effects were specially effective. The actors, including the humans behind the apes and the apes in general acted well. They must have been paid well as well. Although the movie was kind of a reboot and didn’t have any continuity from the previous editions. Go watch it if you like Animal based Action Adventure movie genre. I am not giving it any star. banana or any cookie. Monkeys take the stuff they want themselves anyways.

Although, when it comes to see a group of apes, I feel most of you are unlucky and lucky. I guess if you have seen ‘Monkey Thieves’ on National Geographic Channel, you will understand at what juncture I am reaching. See, Jaipur city is surrounded by some sort of jungle around the city. So as you must’ve seen in The Jungle Book, all Indian jungles have loads of Monkeys. So these monkeys consider Jaipur as their second home as they get easy food there. So at least once in a day, they come in a group of about 40-50 monkeys, violently as they are monkeys, and mess up the clothes drying up on the roofs, topple over the stuff left drying up on the roof for pickels, and do the fun monkey style. I would like to bring it to your kind notice that when 40-50 humans come together violently, they do more damage than these monkeys. Monkeys are actually a menace for the common folk as sometimes they do enter the rooms and as they are evolved enough, they open the fridge and use it as it was their own. They basically feel home at our homes. If your scientific brain is fluctuating let me pour water on it by telling that the monkeys which usually visit humans are Indian Rhesus Macaque and Gray Langurs.While the Macaque are mostly notorious kind and they don’t feel shy to come close to humans, Langurs or Langoors are slightly stronger and usually remain away. When they arrive, they jump on cars, ruining the roof as they are being chased by the stray dogs. They sometimes jump on electric wires and end up with a sparking death, sadly. In the temples, where people bring in Prasaad and fruits, they sometimes snatch the eatables leaving humans dry and afraid. Fun. The thing is not just limited to Jaipur but actually a common sighting in many North Indian Cities including the Monkey Man Capital, Older part of New Delhi.


Now when it came to the movie we are talking about, it showed some scenes where only Americans will drop their jaw in awe and not Indians as we have already seen the interference of monkeys in our day to day lives. But those monkeys don’t throw Metal Rods like Javelins on cars for sure. So some scenes in the movie don’t impress much as they would have impressed the First World. But overall the movie succeeds in entertaining and making one watch it 1.5 times and teaches us the basic fact that messing too much into the Nature has its repercussions.

But think about this. Who knows our encroachment into jungles is actually doing some brain damage to animals. Who knows that these monkeys have not learnt things from us, both good and bad. Who knows that one day they will come to us and ask ‘What’s the time bro?’. Who knows that as they are the descendants of Lord Hanuman who went into a shell after the Ramayana are ultimately waiting for the right time to show us that we humans who are corrupted, high on estrogen and testosterone, with no sense of humanity left are actually living in Kaliyug and there is one expiry date for that. We are in process to make Robots who will ultimately rule us via Skynet and we are still ignoring the Nature around us. This Nature itself can show us who’s the boss even before we’re able to make one Artificial Intelligent Bot. 

Relax. It’s only fiction and not the reality but next time a monkey comes near you, don’t try to converse with it as it might reply.Ok? Good.

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