RSS Feed

Suppose you want to go and buy Shorts for yourself and you are particularly interested in buying Khakhi colored ones. You have to be pretty careful so that you don’t end up buying something which remotely resembles RSS’s style ‘nekar‘. Unless you actually want to.

For the uninitiated, RSS or Rashtriya Swyamsevak Sangh is a Non-Governmental-Organization in India which generally deals with terms like Nationalism, Hinduism and few other -isms. How much do you know about it, also defines your political leanings, according to some. Without going into too much nitty-gritty of its history, I would directly state my state of confusions with them as an organization and me as an Indian individual.

From what I know, RSS believes that India was, once upon a time, united from Afghanistan to Myanmar, popularly called ‘Akhand Bharat’. That time was when India was truly ‘Sone ki chidiya’ and it was the hub for education, science, culture and literature. When we were prosperous and gay, the other world, specifically Europe, was not as flourishing as it is today. There were still reeling under the ‘dark ages’ and far from being civilized under a common rule/government and mostly lived in tribes. RSS, also believes that since India has been invaded by foreign forces, namely Islamic armies of Central Asia and then Europeans sailors and eventually Britain, we have got corrupted, our cultures have been damaged, our literature has been burnt, our temples have been ransacked and many people who used to be ‘Hindus’ have been converted into Abrahamic religions by force or fear or bribery. Moreover, some people from within RSS and ideologically affiliated to them like Purshottam Nagesh Oak, have claimed that many palaces/mosques/forts currently in India, which appear to be made during Islamic rule, were mostly Hindu places and temples which were taken over and renovated as to look like they were the art works of rulers. The rulers who were mostly illiterate and more interested in vices instead of making Mahals for a pity thing called Love.

Apart from the above, they have felt strongly, that after the Independence, the governments, particularly Congress, have appeased the minority religions for personal gain, propagated false stories about India’s past and in turn, have made the people forget about their origins, their culture, their religion and their duty towards the nation. Thus, they have taken it upon themselves, the responsibility, to take India forward through a social movement, which might last centuries, towards the same glory days, Indians used to see before they were conquered. They call themselves, proudly I must add, ‘Hindu nationalists’. And they’re pretty serious about it.

Now let me be serious too. Here’s a little revelation: I come from a family of hardcore RSS supporting people. Both paternal and maternal family has had connections with them. My immediate to immediate ancestors were regulars to ‘Shakhas’ and they also truly believe in whatever RSS believes in. So, whatever I am today, that is borderline whatever-istically-nihilistic-ally-atheist-ically-still-a-Hindu some of my opinions have surely been influenced by my family. I have seen (didn’t read them all though) books which talk about the cultural corruption we Indians have gone through because of foreign invasions of about 1000 years. I have seen pictures in those books which interpreted from various Dan-Brown-Styled symbology studies that most of the so-called Hindu-Islamic architecture was a clever copy paste job of Islamic symbols over the already existent palaces/temples to make them look like they were freshly erected during their era. PN Oak was the forerunner of this cause where he propagated and preached about his findings that govt. is just appeasing the minority to garner votes and keeping the public little confused and mostly fooled. Keeping the general public under a bit of inferiority will help the government to rule without much opposition for a longer duration of time. And he believed in certain other things too, along with the other people from that organization, that India was the epitome of everything before the conquests happened. Our science was supreme. We knew plastic surgery (you might have read about Sushrutha). We excelled in Ayurveda and Yoga. Our languages like Sanskrit had a heavy influence on the Europe and Western World. And this influence is so much that I will just throw some words and their English names: Caspian Sea – Kashyap Sagar, Mexico – Makshik (Copper and Iron Pyrite mineral which is Silver-Gold in color. Also, Mexico has several Silver Mines), Vatican – Vatika (Swamy39 will confirm), Anatomy – Anaatmi, and you already know it Taj Mahal – Tejomahalaya, etc. There is also a theory that there is a Shivling under Mecca. (Hehe) Well, I know about Proto Indo Aryan Languages and their evolution/spread/impact but I am still stating what RSS believes in without any bias. Apart from that, I myself have seen mutilated idols at many places, like Qutub Minar and Hampi’s temples to name a few. Now, if you have read all of the above (kya baat!), you would assume that I am one of those Virat Internet Hindoos who wear Saffron colored bands across the foreheads and flash small trishuls or something whenever enraged and bark at anyone when they make slight hint of fun of Hinduism and Modi Ji. Well, I am not. Yes, I am not.

Let me tell you that I have never myself attended any ‘Shakha’. I have never been asked to do so, by my supposedly RSS affiliated hardcore family. Instead they have encouraged me to be curious and ask questions about things I didn’t understand. I have never been asked or forcefully dragged to any temple. In my family it self, there have been close to zero restrictions on womenfolk for doing anything. There are of course cries of discomfort when one got late but that was same for everyone and more related to discipline than anything. I was made aware about the interpretations of history, that it mostly favors the winner. In spite of being Hindu Brahmins who happen to be actual priests at many temples, literally, I have never been told to attend any pooja, do fasts and there have been absolutely no insistence on learning any Bhajan.

Now I have few confusions in my mind about what RSS is and what people assume it to be since always and more so after 2014 General elections, everyone has been divided everyone into Left Wings, Right Wings, No Wings and whatever wing groups. From what I know, RSS is essentially a patriotic bunch of people who indulge in 2 things. One that is more popular in the media that they go overboard and claim things which cannot be proven easily about great achievements of our great country. Second, which gets nominal attention, that they also volunteer in social causes like Blood Donations, setting up disaster management camps and provide food and shelter to people in times of floods, draughts, etc. Some people who take RSS’s ideology on face value take pride in things Indians did without knowing anything. These are the same people who forward you mails/messages which say ‘Forward this to 15 people or bad luck is around the corner’. Now when we have understood the purpose of RSS, that is to keep the jwala of Patriotism, the love for the country and its people, there are many elements within RSS who speak more than they should and become Moral & Cultural Police. Their job is to just teach about what they think is wrong in this country. They have no right to act on the ideology physically. People are mature enough to understand that and if they are not, educate people. Since your interpretation is something, others have their own interpretations. Hostility won’t do good to anyone. Second, I don’t know what my political ideology is. Whether I am a Right Wing because I praised Modi for few things or whether I am left wing as I checked my symptoms online on a website which tells you what you are through some quizzes. For RSS, they can do their job as long as they want but they must understand that cultural mishaps of our country happened for various reasons and not all the mishaps have been bad. The rich fusion we now have is not bad at all. The patriotism they take pride in, sometimes becomes Xenophobia and thinking becomes one-dimensional which helps nobody. There are some people who find patriotism itself a waste of time, so it clearly proves that our society is full of various exclusive notions and opinions. Putting everyone in same bracket and covering everyone under same umbrella won’t do. More so, if you think some damage has been done to out culture, it would take centuries to gain back that glory, if there was as much as you believe. (And I guess you already know that and already on it). Another thing, most of the leader you have are bald, old and look like they didn’t get proper breakfast in the morning. You guys also need to chill a bit. Bring fresher faces, who know what they are talking about. Show things you believe in with proper conviction and remove those voices which talk about divide, rather than course correction, if it is required.

Concluding, what my family told me and what I usually see on news, don’t coincide always. RSS will continue to work as a brotherhood and some people will just hate them as they think they are regressive. I guess, they are not regressive but their methods aren’t updated well enough with modern times. RSS should not be custodian of so called Indian culture but just a guiding light, as BJP claims it to be. And people should be free to follow or unfollow them.

P.S.: Apology for the overcooked over-roasted overdone title.

Some recommended reading stuff:

  1. RSS chief Mohan Bhagwat asks why all inhabitants of Hindustan are not known as Hindus http://www.dnaindia.com/india/report-rss-chief-mohan-bhagwat-asks-why-all-inhabitants-of-hindustan-are-not-known-as-hindus-2009725
  2. A Shorts History http://www.livemint.com/Opinion/BZ9SU3VsTDLTSwmeDIWlzO/Dj-View–A-shorts-history.html
  3. A bit of Apbransh (अपभ्रंश) study http://www.encyclopediaofauthentichinduism.org/articles/30.2.htm

Well in Time Day Post

If you are ‘taken’ and reading this from your safe confine
Had a romantic candle lit night dine and topped it with wine so fine
Have just gifted her ring which has luster so bright, it shines
then buddy I think that you did the right thing, well in time.

Because if you have delayed it and still waiting for the right moment
you are surely outdone yourself, get prepared for some relentless torment
You’re going to get hounded like MSM media yells at Modi government
You will run high and dry and won’t get a breather, forget about chlormint.

Your friends your neighbors your cook your tailor
Your aunt your uncle your didi her Devar
Your teacher your peon your relatives ask you a favor
and your colleagues your dhobhi your barber and his shaver
and many more ask directly without being any clever
that when are you getting married, do it no, be braver
it is nothing, lose some slack, don’t be a saver
see this, meet her, say hi, arey at least crave her
you don’t have time left now, we will give you no waiver.

Look at them, they got married in a grand style last year
Uploaded 158 pics of the wedding, 200 pics of honeymoon, don’t jeer
Mostly blurry but rest were clear, taken from a distance and very near
they are happy so what if they have bloated and enhanced their rear
well we will be your seer and prophecise for you my dear
you have wasted so much time, stop lazying around change your gear
if you don’t you will rot soon, is our fear
what is this, why have you grown a beard
Y U NO understand, dress up nicely, wear this wear

Come let us go and meet this family
they are not that affluent but the girl is very pretty
Pretty she might be, but she is not of my affinity
What are you saying, what’s wrong with her, are you being witty?
Man, you’re aging now and reaching the escape velocity
remember, once you turn the draconian age of 30
you will get no one far and bloody no one in any city
OK, see another, she is not that nice, but family has never seen scarcity
NO? You are such a dumbass, soon you will have no pity
You have gone mad and you ought to be left alone away from this vicinity
OK, see another, she is so cool, it seems she has everything in her kitty
NO?, what an idiot you are, why do go into nitty-gritty?

Sigh, been driving down this road and now cannot take this load
Judging someone just in a meeting, makes me look like a tadpole toad
Will settle down some day eventually, why are you getting bored
I am trying you know, cannot like someone you showed
just like that, don’t have that switch mode
it is not some code which you can write and gloat
I am trying you know, working on it from tip to node
BharatMatrimonyJeevanSaathiShaadiSimpleMarry I tried but then tip-toed
That is again liking someone just by pictures you showed
I know the clock is ticking, but it is okay, I blowed,
It will happen or not happen, who cares, this is just an ode,
to my brain which is soon, about to explode.

Tick tock tick tock tick…
BOOOM!

Going too Fast?

These are totally my views and my philosophy when it comes to Humor. Yours can be different. I am writing this to get a closure on this issue as I have wasted/invested a lot of thought this past week.

Govt. has got you a road. That road has a speed limit which has been made so that both you and fellow travelers have safety. There’s even a Red Light at some point on the road but that is unmanned and Traffic Police is absent, as they consider you sane enough to abide by the rules and guidelines. Now you buy a vehicle which can run faster than others. You keep crossing the speed limit as it gives you thrill. Even the fellow passengers who piggy bank on you for their own motive find it fun and adrenaline pumping enjoyable. Now you have excelled at going past the speed limit without harassing (or hurting the sentiments) other travelers on the road. Since the traffic is less, you think of taking the red light head on and zoom pass it as well. Till there is no one crossing the road, you are fine. But one day, someone will be crossing and since you are already confident of yourself in breaking the boundary on a regular basis, you might end up scarying them, or brushing past or even colliding with them. In that case when someone tries to ask you to slow down a bit, do you have to slow down and think about your speed or do you have to stop driving at all. The road after the red light isn’t very smooth either.

Also remember, we are a country full of people who drive on the Wrong Side of the road frequently. And they are not going to vanish soon.

TL;DR?

Wherever you work or study or live, it has a written or oral Code of Conduct. You might not be punished right away if you go beyond what is acceptable. But some people will take the onus on themselves to have you pay sometime later. For example, if you don’t get a good hike inspite of good work, you can cry foul and curse your manager publicly. And you deem it fit to do so because you didn’t get your deal fairly. Now manager knows that and he won’t punish you instantly. But wait for next appraisal which might get your rating even lower. Also expect some work assigned to you at weird timings like Friday evening. 🙂

You might want to read Jerry Seinfeld on the use of profanity by clicking here.

Also check out the GOLDEN take on Freedom of expression by XKCD.

Free Speech

Take offence, but politely

If I might, let me throw some light, from my side on this issue on our mind, far and wide, You may or may not take my bite into your stride, however I may add, this fad, kind of bad, is here to stay anyways till we realize that mostly all kinds of freedoms, come with a price. Nice? Read on but if you are looking for any surprise, there is none but you are already wise. This is about Freedom of Expression, an Utopian feeling which always stays in contention. While we act all up for that ‘FoE’ but it makes people less friendly and more our foe. Most of us, are anyways hypocritical and thus, we want our liberty all the while, while we ourselves stay in denial. That all is well and we shall raise our voice, as long as our havens stay safe and our steps have poise. The jokes you laugh at and you laugh at quite a few, work only when they are not on you. Your tantrums are pretty well known, you get offended on calling you anything, now please don’t moan or groan as you look to me as a person who is a grown up. Any joke made in haste, are often not in a good taste, but waste is your opinion or any reason on it, as someone else is getting splits because of it or may be even fits, if it fits.

Here’s my take on Freedom of Speech:

If you decide to create some content (in any form be it written, spoken or drawn) which doesn’t coincide with the usual[1] norms of the society, you are bound to get applause as well as hate. There will be many who will praise your ‘crossing the boundary’ and ‘pushing and kicking the envelope’. There will be many who won’t like it. You may claim that it is your freedom of speech and right to express (be it crass, vulgar and downright abusive or wonderfully created satire with wit and bit of double entendre which many aren’t capable of because it requires more effort). Now when you have right to express something (and serve it as comedy? Heh it is not funny though), you should expect retaliation and criticism of your work. It should[2] range from straight faced ridicule of the content and call it non-funny and not-so-awesome-as-people-claim to laughing it off as totally nonsense and in some cases getting very angry over it being non-funny and not-so-awesome-as-people-claim. This Anger[3] can sometime lead to people lodging complaints against you using the democratic way of using some Indian Penal Code law citing that your content hurt their feelings. Or, more importantly, it was not suitable to be shown in public. But, there will be a fringe group[4] which think they are beyond law and take it as their utmost duty to silence the creator by use of fear and may be violence.

While I am 100% totally against these fringe moral brigade who think this is damaging our culture[5], the other non-violent people who got offended have full right to be offended and lodge a complaint with the police. Now here comes the question of whether they are so offended that they got up, went to a police station and actually complained because someone created some content which they didn’t like. Unfortunately, we people do have such people. And they are in plenty. Their LinkedIn bio boasts of skills like Joblessness, Ability to take offense at almost anything, knowledge of IPC laws (appreciable) and free time.

So when you create something and people get offended, you should STAND UP FOR YOUR RIGHT TO SAY STUFF and not delete the content out of fear while you yourself admit that nobody threatened you. If you are shutting down shop without giving a fight to the people who take your stuff to heart (and possibly to their grave or pyre), what is the point of pushing the envelope? Was that just a way to get quick publicity and establish brand name? The brand name which creates less intelligent stuff (some stuff is really very witty and definitely more intelligent than I can ever make) and more of crass, cuss word usage which can make you popular faster as compared to the other harder way for making it to the top by pure satire.

Then there are people who condescend you since you didn’t like the Roast. Well, to be fair to them, I need not waste any space of this blog, except this line, on them. 😛

One more thing… I want Freedom of Speech to be Absolute. But it is not possible. You cannot ever have consensus on everything, all the time. I am not being pessimistic, I am being realistic. In a country like ours which is so divided on so many lines, circles and triangles, it is next to impossible to agree on everything. The laws which currently exist, do exist because govt. can only be preventive. It cannot ensure your safety from violence all the time. This is a fact and you should know it. Plus, I also believe that our society is evolving, getting more open minded and it will surely be able to be more tolerant. Still, even after hundreds of years from now, someone somewhere will continue to feel bad because of you. If not anything, sometimes people’s faces or dressing styles can be offensive. Like someone getting their name’s embroidery all over their suit. So offensive I tell you. There is certainly a scope of getting our laws fairer. And making them more understandable and less fearful for cases like FoE. But I reiterate, the laws are for preventing bad things to happen. And if I recount human history, people have got offended usually on the basis of speeches and waged wars and what not.

That is all.

[1] Usual here means what most people are comfortable with and have accepted as normal. This again depends on context, place and mood.

[2] But in realistic scenario, it isn’t.

[3] We have a huge population so people who get angry in our country are in huge numbers as well.

[4] Totally jobless idiotic guys with no sense of humor at all. Not even sense of humor, but no respect to the law and order situation, or respect to anyone’s human right. Totally unwanted scum of the Earth and fully deserving to be sent to Kalapani for their whole life where they could mate with each other and overpopulate the islands and die of starvation. Or become Zombies, whatever and get extinct.

[5] Doesn’t exist. Please go and find a different country.

P.S: I am not at all fond of AIB sort of comedy. I find those guys ugly. Of course they are funny but I cannot watch them or hear them, in fear of getting totally bored. May be this is my confirmation bias speaking against them. But that’s how it works, right!

P.S.S: I got so much bored of this issue that I wrote another useless rhyme: http://toomuchgraphic.tumblr.com/post/109964186359/a-good-rhyme-nay