Writing Experiment Lab | Poe's Law Playground
Sources:
You might have watched the latest Fastrack ads running on TV nowadays. The ads which suggest us to ‘Move on’. The problems with those ads are not that they are asking our society to break shackles of orthodox traditions and culture and simply be a progressive society by moving on (Hilarious!) but that they don’t tell us about the things they are trying to sell via those ads. A normal Indian mind will think of wardrobe, furniture and inflatable houses to be honest and not watches, bags and belts. I wish they had taken model-looking-models at least. Anyways, the point of this blog post is to give an insight on the predicament Indian youths are facing in these times where we are stuck in between the Social Media and the Babu at the Post office. While the Internet has strangled us from all the sides and made us faster, smarter (?) and louder, the post office uncle is still the same chap from 1950s who uses lubrication from Paan he’s chewing to turn pages on our Recurring Deposit (don’t ask why I wrote this) passbooks. And we have to deal with both.
There’s no denying the fact that social networking sites have changed our lives. World has become smaller (you can marry your online mate) and faster (still learning about Bitcoins, more on this later) and transparent (for instance Article 66A). From the ultrasonography pics of yet to be born children to the uncle on the verge of retirement, everyone is online. What if the most popular pages on Facebook like ‘Bahut bhookh lagi hai yaar…’ are run by socially inept people who have never seen daylight or twitter accounts run by Anti-social elements where they crack jokes all the time using puns lamer than lame duck prime minister one particular country in South Asia has, the social media sites have shaken the society from its deep roots. People being people get to share things and voice their opinions which enable us to think forward and stop being a regressive state. The Social media is slowly taking over Mainstream media as well. Which means that newspapers even have the right to publish some tweets under the title Twitterverse (hah) because new age journalists were taught that writing actual news is absolutely boring and when you can copy paste stuff from net, why do anything else like going out on the road and listen to real people and report real life problems! So, people believe in social media and new age journalism and marketing. They do.
But beyond this active, chirpy world in retina and AMOLED display and mesh of LAN cables, there exists a world which you have seen only in real life, that is, the offline world. Yes, that world where you’re made a Kiwi at the instant you try to jump more than you should. Real life happens when you were busy making plans with online mates. Well, the truth my dear friends, is that Twitter and Facebook are majorly nonsensical. Apart from being a matrimonial site, Facebook is mainly a birthday reminder service. Twitter is nothing but an Earthquake alert service. Your outrage on Twitter is waste. Unless you are a jobless chipmunk with > 1368 followers (Well researched number, so please) nobody is going to pay attention. Ok, you’re a girl, then fine, people will listen. While you are trying to arrange a tweetup, your parents are going to tie you up with a suitable match they approved after watching her pic on Facebook. While you were shouting against govt. policies, in real world, govt. has slapped you with newer taxes and increased the price of water as if it was petrol. While you were angry about corruption, you yourself are paying 100 Rupees to the traffic police who caught you without helmet. While you are cribbing about the summer as if it is the first summer which is hot, the met department has promised a normal monsoon this year which translates to ghanta normal monsoon.
Summarizing, we are a generation who have one leg in the traditional India and another in the Internet savvy Bharat, as DJ says, you have to decide where you want to let go your frustrations. I suggest, go offline and play.
I have decided. That I am going to stand by and support Rahul Dravid’s team during this season of IPL 2013 because it is a Rahul Dravid led team. Also, I believe that because of the recent events, Dravid won’t participate voluntarily in the next edition of the cursed cricket tournament. This post is also a long pending tribute to the man himself, Rahul Dravid.
But first, if you haven’t read Sidvee’s post about him after he got retired, cut short reading this and just go there and read it (http://sidveeblogs.wordpress.com/2012/03/09/goodbye-dravid/). Else, continue…
You want to go to a place and you have two options. You can take the shortest route possible and reach within no time. Or you may take a longer route at a slower but steadier pace, savoring the moments of journey and then reach the destination. The route which one takes defines the person, I think. Same goes with life. It is a weird span of time. We all fall into the trap and try to lead a life following a certain dream based upon the expectation of others and set standards of the society. That ambition of ours, to succeed in life where the term success itself is very complex, makes us to crave for milestones and work towards achieving the aim. Everyone tries that, some are able to do it, most don’t. The trick is how you do it. Of course you want to be born in a well-doing family where all the amenities already exist. But some people want a different life. They want to work hard and achieve everything on their own. They toil day and night to learn new tricks. They keep trying till they are perfect in the technique. They live life and not just zoom past it. There are some terms like ‘meticulous’ specially made for those individuals who work towards their dream. They represent the average guys who are born with a certain potential but it can work for them only if they extract the kinetic energy out of it by grilling themselves on a regular basis. They have to better themselves every day or they will lag behind. They are also the responsible and dependable. They know that along the journey, many things will fail around them but they have to keep their cool, keep the concentration intact, keep the blood flowing in their veins and most importantly keep their integrity. They fail yet they keep coming back. They are stubborn. They are called slow, tortoise like but still they complete the journey. The never dwindling will makes them transform their average backbone into tough tortoise like back as if it is some therianthropy. During the journey, they become strong. They become tough, cynic by not getting perturbed by the crumbling and yet optimistic. They resemble a wall. It stays there. Others feel safe around it. Others know that if the wall stays, they are safe and this instills the confidence in them that they can win, even if they are plain average.
Such is Rahul Dravid.
There are innumerable instances where he did what was expected of him. From 96 till last year or so, he kept performing. The belief in Indian cricket came back after the April 2000’s findings. I risked my 2001’s final exams (which happened to be the X Board exams) because he was creating magic with VVS during this http://www.espncricinfo.com/ci/engine/current/match/63920.html and I don’t regret it all. He, along with few other names, did his best to take Indian cricket to its heights, thereby making platform for them to win the subsequent No. 1 positions and a few cups in limited over tournaments. He never complained of the over-shadowing because he was just doing his job. We already know the achievements. What makes him stand out more that he is still strong in his will. The integrity is still intact. Now he is not there anymore wearing white kits. Just after he retired, India lost a couple of series with blatant whitewashes. You might not realize directly but the backbone of Indian batting had been taken out, when he retired.
He is now playing, most surely, his last professional cricket, IPL. I am going to miss him so I support him for a couple of matches more. I should. I must.
One billion articles have been written about how IPL is sexist and a capitalist paradise. Nobody wants to say bad things about Rochelle Rao but those cheer girls (same set of girls everyday!) dancing in SET Max studio are of no use to the game of Cricket and also because of another gentleman named Siddhu already present in the same room to distract the viewer from the girls is already a menace we are being subjected to. Another billion articles have been written over Hansie Cronje’s life and other match fixing scandals surfaced a decade ago. Poor Gibbs still avoids coming to India and tries to remain unsold at the IPL Auction every time. (He doesn’t know about the OLX ad as far as I know). One more billion articles are being written about the spot fixing catastrophe which has embarked upon the team of Rajasthan Royals today. Consider this article as One Billion and oneth.
Consider, you’re sitting at your home at night listening to Saliva’s ‘Lades and Gentleman‘ and electricity gets cut, thanks to 2 namesake drops of rain. It becomes all dark (IPL match starts). Now even if nothing is visible (not a Test Match kind of genuine Cricket format but still…), you still know where to go (all your favorite players are there) and get emergency light (which are never charged by the way) or candles (quickfire sure shot excitement of T20). You know that on the way you will have to evade furniture to avoid getting hurt (meager faint-ish chances of matches being rigged) and you actually do cover your ground with great success (reaching play offs). But just before you reach the destination, the smallest toe of your right leg (Sreesanth) hits the bottom most corner of the dining table (spot fixing) and you utter a sister-related swear word (Kohli’s catchphrase) under your breath, trying to hold your tears from coming out because of immense pain you have to bear. This feeling is like that. Moreover, when 2 more names of Chandila and Chavan came up, it felt like something hot being pressed on the same little toe which was subjected to pain in the last sentence.
I am devastated beyond repair. Why this? Why this now? Why Rajasthan Royals? Agreed they are the poorest IPL team of the lot but being poor is not a legit reason to indulge in bribery and all. Even if they may be the poorest franchise but their poorest player still earn more than me. Some people have to be on bench, Sir, I also have to be on bench (IT company policies). If it had been some other team, I would have at least taken it as a sour burp and moved on. I am like that. But it is bloody Rajasthan Royals. The Royals for which I am rooting, hooting, shouting, modulating BP, changing DP and cheering for the last 6 years. The Royals which have their fortress mere 2.8 KM from my actual home. The team which has no Rajasthani players (who cares) but their captain as the most gentleman cricketer of my era Rahul Sharad Dravid. Also, its ex-captain was the most playboy cricketer of my era Shane Keith Warne. You know, cheering for the team which is least expected to win, the underdogs is an absolute joy when it comes to Sports. Also, trash talking about the genuinely deserving team nobody likes like CSK is also fun. Rajasthan Royals is the poor hero (while IPL Cup being the rich heroine) which you want to do good. You want the poor guy to beat the hell out of strong Shetty and Delhi Ganesh kind of villains (pun intended) and their right hands (other useless teams like Pune Warriors India). If the poor guy himself gets corrupted, where will be any room for optimism then? Further saddening part is that the IPL and in general Cricket haters (read unpatriotic Indians) keep poking you about the recent turn of events and embarrass you more than you were embarrassed after JEE. That is where the pain becomes unbearable. The most shameful day of my IPL viewing career.
I know Sidin Vadukut is not showing as much drama as I am showing but Sreesanth and Sidin were like conjoined Siamese twins as far as IPL was concerned. Thanks to his Dork series, the rapport with Malayali humor people like these two had only improved. Disgusted and ashamed now. I can feel for you Sidin, I sincerely do.
On a serious note, watching a person of stature like Rahul Dravid defending his team in IPL Rajasthan Royals is one of the saddest moment I have seen on TV. I almost had tears in my eyes, well almost. Genuinely saying. Now question is where we go from this. Should I keep my support intact for RR for the playoffs and see Watson beating the hell out of Pollard? Sigh. Tough call, let me think over it and revert.
At least WWE is openly calling itself as Entertainment. Have some shame yar!
P.S.: Listening to ‘Sun Raha Hai Na Tu’ song from Aashiqui 2. Fitting.
Let us suppose that you are a sane and sophisticated kind of gentleman (or gentle lady or at least gentle). Now suppose that you’re in an office which is very Indian type in nature where the Internet access is managed by an IT Admin team. You want to check a certain website which will help you to learn more about the work you are dealing with. You want to type Oracle but end up typing Racle*. Now this happens, all of a sudden:
A new blue/black/Eye-Blinding-White page pops up with a text which shouts:
Message:
CONTENT BLOCKED.
HOW COULD YOU OPEN THIS, YOU FOOL? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT CATEGORY THIS SITE BELONGS TO? YOU’RE AN IDIOT OF FIRST DEGREE AND WE HAVE NOTED DOWN YOUR EMPLOYEE ID AND NAME. HAHA. OPEN THIS SITE ONE MORE TIME AND THEN YOU SEE, HOW WE WOULD DRAG YOUR CARCASS OUT OF THE OFFICE, PULLING YOU FROM TIE-END AND INSULT YOUR GENERATIONS AS BONUS. HOW DARE YOU…
Reason:
THIS WEBSITE IS BLOCKED YOU DOUCHE! YOU KNOW WHAT BLOCKED MEANS? IT MEANS YOU CANNOT OPEN THIS HERE. LOLZ VIA QWUT! GO TO YOUR HOME AND TRY THIS YOU PERVERT.
URL:
This is like the guy in the ad where he enacts an Air Conditioner and gets southpaw-ed when electricity turns back on all of a sudden. Or you are sitting on a peaceful protest near India Gate and suddenly you feel a rib-tickling sensation thanks to Police Lathi which suddenly hits you again at the same spot with the intensity of a Gayle six. You poor fellow didn’t even know that you had just made a typo in the address bar. These blocked-stuff messages are written in such polite language which is as smooth as Sandpaper is. While they could have simply said that Sir, may be you are trying to open a site which is deemed inappropriate in office environment. Kindly recheck the spelling and proceed. Or aww, what are you trying to open mister 😉 Please, please understand that you are in office. Opening such stuff will only attract eyeballs so just work and avoid such scenes no?
Telling from personal experience of (not mine but) many of my very gentlemanly friends, utmost care should be taken to type anything using your office keyboard. Office, nowadays follow strict policies which prohibit you to even think any URL which is not safe at work. Still, if you deliberately want to view some pictures to feel refreshed, only a disconnected LAN Cable can save you. While I am not telling you my personal views about what should you type and watch, but this watching business is a very serious business. While it is still OK to go through such recreational stuff in places of lesser importance such as legislative assembly, it is strictly banned to ever utter those keywords in offices. Surfing such websites, watching videos or pictures or even reading ‘NSFW’ text might land you into trouble and it could even lead to termination, with insult and embarrassment guaranteed. Even if you are reading stuff related to Yoga, even that might be ‘ZOMG, LOOK AT HIM, WHAT IS HE WATCHING! ARREST HIM!’ level offensive for some people in office. Policies related to harassment at workplace are cool like that. When even movie channels which show subtitles change ‘Damn’ to ‘Darn’ and ‘Shit’ to ‘Stuff’ and blur Katrina Kaif flashing a chilam, office IT admins should take matter into their own hands, isn’t it?
Now when corporates have taken the ‘sustainable’ initiative, why should the government lag behind? Recently one flying news snippet of government trying to check and control the growing number of inappropriate content websites came online, Internet users took it very seriously. While government was just worried that websites showcasing child abuse and obscene stuff should be brought under the radar, people on Twitter interpreted as if the government is planning to ban such stuff from view, storing, sharing and of course, making. Some people were so afraid to hear this that they hid their Hard disks and CD/DVDs under the ground while others were so offended that they decided to watch whatever they could before it would become illegal.
So kindly behave and avoid such scenes in the office at least. Cleaning history and all won’t help.
P.S.: In engineering colleges, your ‘net’ worth is often measured by the amount of ‘stuff’ you have in your ‘kitty’ but you cannot remain popular following the same strategy anymore. You are not Sachin Tendulkar, please.
* Don’t bother, I have checked that now Racle has been brought down but it was a blocked site in 2010 April surely.
